What if the truth isn't enough
by Little-One07
Summary: Imprinting, for a wolf could come at any moment. But what if when Seth does imprint, he find out that what is in his imprints past will change what he think and he knows about the pack and the tribe forever. Please give it a shot and please review
1. Chapter 1: The Beach

**(Hello everyone, I know it has been a while since I have posted to this story but I'm back now. I have re-edited all five chapters and I'm posting the edited chapters on the site now. I have finished chapter 6 and should have that up as soon as my editor finishes going over it. Thanks to those of you that have stuck around waiting for me to get back to this. I do hope that I don't disappoint you when I finally get the whole story done. As always please review)**

**Re-posted 07/11/2010**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter1: The Beach

Color hadn't been a part of my world for so long I couldn't even remember what red, green, yellow or blue looked like. For eight year the only color I ever got to see was white. The walls were white, the door was white, even my clothes were white. I was so young when they first brought me here that I didn't even know what I was missing out on. How was I to know that living your life in a small padded room wasn't normal? This was all I knew after waking up in pain that night so many years ago. To this day I still block out the days and nights that lead up to me being here. My mind likes it that way; it finds that keeping everything in the dark lets me keep breathing.

I hated it out here; I still couldn't understand why they made me leave. I wanted my corner back in my small padded room. I'd give anything to be laying on the floor staring off at the white walls the made up the room. For it was the only place I felt safe, the only place that I called home. Now I have to stay in the house I lived in before with my mother and my brother. This was the place where so many bad things had happen. The house that should have been a home to me but never was. Closing my eyes, I struggled to push back the memories I so longed to forget. The ones everyone hoped I would let come out, but when fear is the only emotion you know letting things out just doesn't come that easy.

Opening my eyes I looked around to find that more people had started to make their way down to the beach. This made me feel even more uncomfortable. For out here in the world there were too many people, too much going on for my comfort. I wasn't use to this kind of thing, for too long it had just been me day in and day out. Sure a few times during the day someone would stop in to see me, but they never stayed long. I couldn't really tell you what they wanted or if they had said anything. I was too lost in keeping myself from their touch. No one could touch me there or at least that's what I let myself believe. If there is one thing people need to know about me is I don't like being touched. Bad things happen when my body came in contact with another person.

The sun was shining bright on this my first day at the beach. I wasn't sure if I had ever come here before, those memories were locked up some place safe in my mind. There wasn't a cloud in the blue sky. I did have to say blue was a nicer color then white. If I was the type of person who cared about these things I would have appreciated such a good day for my first time out in the world. You see when you live the kind of life I had you don't get to be outside. I was four years and some months the last time I got to see the outside world. There wasn't even a window in my small white padded room. This wasn't something that ever bothered me. You can't miss what you never had to begin with.

I had been a little stunned that my brother Jon had offered to bring me today. I had been home for two weeks by this point and hadn't been out once. To tell the truth I didn't think I was ever going to be let out of the house. The way everything happened that led me to coming home. I thought I had gone from one prison to another in just hours. Though I had to say this one was very different for it held the secrets that I had been hiding from for eight years. Finding out I was coming home had been such a shock to me. I woke up that day like any other day, ready to spend my time pushed in to the corner watching the walls. Sometime I would change it up and stare at the door, wondering if someone was going to come to see me that day. Not that I really paid attention to who ever came in. I had learned within a few days that no one cared what I wanted or thought. It wasn't hard after that to let myself go in to my own little world where no one could ever hurt me.

Most days if I got a visitor it wasn't until sometime in the afternoon. So imagine my surprise when a nurse walked in only a few minutes after I woke up. As she came closer to me I pushed back further in to my corner. My mind keeps screaming for her to stop but no words never left my mouth. This wasn't a new thing I hadn't spoken one word since I had woken up. It wasn't that I could speak I just choose not to. It was better this way, better to keep it locked inside then to let them hurt me more. I didn't really fight her as she took hold of my arm and dragged me out of the room.

Taken to an office I hadn't been to before, I was directed to sit down in one of the chairs inside the room. All too soon a man walked in to speak to me. In all these year I have to say I never really listened to the things that were said to me. They were all the same, each one thought they knew what had happened. They had believed what everyone had told them, never really caring to see what I had to say. Then again what adult listens to a four year old who throws herself in to walls? After he was done talking I was taken to the showers and given a new set of clothes. I wasn't sure what to think about the jeans and t-shirt I was given. The only thing I could ever recall wearing was this white jumper. I wasn't given much time to shower and change before being taken outside to a car waiting to bring me back to the house I had hope to never see again.

Sitting in the back seat I keep my eyes focused out the window. It had been so long since I had seen what was beyond those four walls. The green grass was breath taking and all the trees. I wondered how I could forget how tall they grew or how beautiful they were. With so much to see I hadn't really questioned where my mother was. Most parents would have rushed to bring their child home after being gone for so long but not my mom. When we pulled up in to the drive way she acted like she hadn't even known I was coming. If I hadn't known better I would have thought she had wished I wasn't there. My coming home was something she didn't want as well.

It didn't take my brother long to leave me sitting alone on the beach. Not sure what to do, I slowly moved myself down to the water. So here is where I sat at the edge of the water watching the waves come in. Looking down at myself I knew I was a sight to see. Here I was sitting in the water with a long sleeve shirt on over my swimsuit. This wasn't the normal attire that you would see someone wear at the beach. If only they knew what I knew, if only they could see what I was hiding under this shirt. Though in this small town or I should say this reservation here was no way to hide who I was or what had happen so long ago. Now that I was back people would start talking once more about what a sad life I had.

Glancing over my shoulder I watched him as he flirted with the group of girls that had swarmed to him the second we got here. The way he acted made me sick; he was so sweet and kind to them. In my whole life or what time I was around him he never acted that way towards me. I was the sibling that wasn't meant to be. Our father even left the family because he didn't want me. This made my brother not want me as well. So it's pretty easy to see why I might have done some of the stuff they accused me of doing. I knew now what my brother's motives for bringing me here were. This was the only why he could take me out without really having to spend time with me.

Hearing a footsteps coming closer to me I turned my head to look the other way. When I did I find a young girl of about four standing right next to me. She was so beautiful, full of life. In my heart I knew I had never seen someone as happy as this little girl was. Without anyone having to tell me, I recognized how much she must be loved by the people in her life. Staring into her eyes I wished that I could have been as lucky as she was. Love was a strange thing to me, which I couldn't seem to grasp or to even get a taste of in my life. I was hated from the second I was known to exist. Not something a child should have to live with.

So lost in her eyes I almost missed that she had spoken to me. "Hello." I so wanted to say something back to her. There wasn't a part of my body that wasn't screaming for me to say hello or even hi. I just couldn't seem to get my voice to work anymore. To many years of holding it all in was coming back to get me now. Not wanting to scare her off or make her think I was rude I nodded my head to say hello back. Watching a smile spread across her lips I knew she was happy with just me nodding my head. Not taking my eyes off of her I watched as she sat down next to me. Without a word she started picking up rocks and tossing them in to the water. It was almost like she knew I didn't want to talk and yet she didn't want to leave me alone.

Tilting my head back around I started to look back out at the water once more. There was just something about the way the waves rolled in that keep my attention. It could have been minutes or hours that had passed before I hear someone calling out from behind us. Sensing the young girl was moving to stand I glanced back over to her.

"I have to go now, Quil is calling me. You can come if you'd like," she advise me.

Not sure of what I wanted to do I took a quick look towards my brother. He was still in the same spot surrounded by a bunch of girls. I figured it couldn't hurt anything if I walked up the beach with her. Standing up slowly I took a glance down both sides of the beach. I couldn't help this feeling that something wasn't right as I got up. It was almost like I was being watched but by who. That was the question I couldn't seem to figure out. Once I was up and had felt it was safe to move I started to make my way up the beach. Before I knew what was going on the little girl had taken hold of my hand with hers. If it had been anyone else I would have yanked it away from them. For some reason it felt right, my heart knew she wasn't going to hurt me.

If I hadn't known better I would have thought she was taking her time walking up the beach. Either she didn't want to go yet or she was hoping to spend more time with me. I really didn't care which one it was for I liked the idea of having someone wanting me around. I wasn't sure what I was feeling but deep down I was hoping that just maybe it was enjoy. The feeling was short lived just feet from where the young girl's friend sat waiting for us.

"Willow Stands where do you think you are going?" my brother called out to me.

I froze in my tracks and my head spun around to look the way his voice had come from. Staring at him for over a minute I would have keep my eyes locked on his position if I hadn't felt the little girl pull on my arm.

Turning my head back around to look at her I caught sight of two very large men coming towards us. I wasn't sure if one of these men were with the little girl. In truth there was only one thing I was sure about. The shorter of the two was looking right at me. His eyes looked to be staring straight at me like he was lost in a trance. Feeling my heart start to speed up as my breathing became uneven. I could feel the fear slowly spreading throughout my body. I wanted to run to a place to hide. Yet at the same time I wanted to stay right where I was at. For there was this new feeling deep in my heart, which I had never felt in my life. I wasn't sure where it was coming from but I knew the man coming towards me was making it happen.

So what was making me feel so afraid? The fact that as this man was coming towards me and my brother was on his headed in my direction. Wishing I could stay and find out what was going on I knew there was no way. Quickly I let go of the young girl's hand as I took off towards my brother. Not wanting to waste anytime I ran fast so I could get to him before he started something with those men. My brother wasn't one to just let things go, so I hoped that if he didn't make it over by them he would just let it drop. Coming to a stop right in front of him he I waited quietly for him to say something anything. I could take whatever comment he made. For there wasn't a thing someone could say to me that would break through the wall I had built up so long ago.

"Get in the car it's time to go now," he snapped at me.

Closing my eyes, I nodded my head, grateful that's all he said. Making my way around him I headed up towards to car. Without a word or even a glance at him I got inside the car and waited for him to take me back to the one place I really didn't want to go.

**(Please let me know what you think by clicking that little button down there, thanks)**


	2. Chapter 2: The House

**(Hello, So I'm re-posting this chapter since I have edited it again. I'm hoping this does not confuse to many people, sorry if it does)**

**Re-posted: 7/11/2010**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended. **

Chapter2: The House

Staring out the window I was hoping my brother would forget about me sitting in the back seat. I wasn't so lucky, as he started speaking to me or I should say more like yelling at me.

"I don't know what you think you were up to but you are to stay away from those guys. They're no good and I don't want you getting involved in whatever they found themselves in. Do you understand me Willow?"

I honestly wondered if he thought I was going to answer him. Did he really think I was going to all of a sudden start talking because he asked me a question? To tell the truth my brother was the last person I wanted to talk to. From my earliest memories, my brother had always been a mystery to me. Deep down I always had this feeling that kept telling me it was best to stay clear of him. It was a feeling I knew came from somewhere in the darkness that concealed so many of my first years.

Closing my eyes I focused on shutting my brother out as he kept going on about how messed up those guys were. I would have probably made it all the way in to my word if he hadn't brought up the little girl who had sat down next to me.

"And that poor little girl, I think her name is Claire too young to even know what she has been pulled into. I can't even believe her parents are letting her spend so much time with that Quil guy. I've seen what he can do, that guy doesn't have any control over his emotions at all."

I almost couldn't believe those words had left my brother's mouth. Did he really think he was better than this Quil guy? Made me question if my brother even paid attention to the things he did or by this point had my mother convinced him that he wasn't responsible for his own actions. Knowing what I knew about my mother I was going with the second choice. Jon was her baby and she would do anything to keep him happy and safe. As I've said before I was the unwanted child, the child that changed everything.

Taking a long deep breath I pulled myself back from the dark memories. Now wasn't the time to go in to that part of my life. Then again there never really was a good time to go there. Sensing a change in the movement of the car I looked out my window once more to see that we had made it home finally. Not that it really was a long distance from the beach. Wasn't even sure why Jon made the decision to drive when we could have just walked. It wasn't like he had to walk with me I could have stayed a close distance behind him. No one would have guessed we were together.

I knew from the way he acted at the beach that's what he wanted. Shaking my head slowly I knew that wasn't the whole truth it was his actions throughout my whole life that told me he didn't want me around or anyone to know who I was to him. Bringing my eyes back to the front of the car I watched as my brother turned the car off and opened the door. Biting at my lip I waited until he had opened the front door of the house before I even moved to get out.

Gradually I moved my left hand over to grab my bag that I had taken with me to the beach. Feeling nothing there I snapped my head down to find the seat and floor next to me empty. Shaking my head I realized I had left the bag at the beach. This wasn't going to make my brother or my mother very happy. Then again when had I ever made them happy.

Looking back up towards the house to check at see if Jon was waiting for me, I figured I could make it inside and up to my room without him knowing what I had done. Not seeing him, I grabbed for the handle, opened the door and stepped out of the car. Afterwards I shut the door gently so that it wouldn't draw my brother's attention back outside.

Feeling my heart rate increase as I made my way up to the front door. The only thing that keep running through my mind was; "Don't let him be standing just on the other side of that door." Cautiously I opened the door just a bit to let my head poke inside. Not seeing Jon in the living room, I pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped inside.

When I came back I was shocked to find it exactly as my four year old mind had remembered it to. Though it wasn't flashy, it was still a big difference compared to what I used to live in. Walking in, I saw color to the walls instead of white. A couch in the middle of the living room with a, what was it, a television. I hadn't been allowed to watch one while I was away. Even now I wondered if I would be allowed to.

In one corner was a bookshelf lined with books, some had gathered a bit of dust but hardly noticeable. Mom had a coffee table in front of the couch and a rocking chair in the far corner. The kitchen looked a little spacious, two side by side sinks, a refrigerator, stove and plenty of counter space. In the dining room we had a circular table and two more shelves in each corner. Between the kitchen and the dining room was our back door the lead to the yard.

Mom's bedroom I stayed out of. I imagined it to be fairly large as well. Even as a small child I never went in there. She never seemed to be very motherly to me like she was Jon. Then again who could be motherly towards a child who took everything away from you. Biting my lip I held back the memories of my past. It seemed in this house it was way too easy to bring back everything I had suppressed so far. I didn't think anything could cause them to come out.

Without waiting another second I took off up the stairs. Moving swiftly up the stairs, I made sure to listen for any sign that my brother was coming to get me. As small as I was I known it wouldn't take much for him to over take me. Not sensing any movement towards the stairs I keep right on going until I reached the top. Only coming to a stop when I reached the door to my room. There wasn't much on the second floor besides my room, which was right next to the stairs. Next to my room was a bathroom and across the hall was my brother's room. Opening the door I thought about how my room wasn't very striking. Of course it was certainly more than my padded room. As simple as it was, I did miss it to an extent.

Closing my eyes, I thought back to the first time I had been brought in here after coming back. Looked around that day I didn't recognize any of the furniture arranged neatly. I had hope that it would still be the same as I remembered, yet at the same time I knew too much had changed in the eight years I was gone.

To my right was my dresser, it must have already been there or mom picked it up from a different family. The edges had been rubbed down and it was scuffed up a little. The hardwood floors had been scratched too it looked like from pushing the dresser and bed into place. What I would have imagined to be, what was the word? It wasn't coming to me which caused a bit of frustration. New wasn't the word I wanted to describe but the vibrancy of the wood was no longer seen, instead it had darkened a lot. Not black but certainly not a pine color at all.

Looking towards my closet which was bigger than I needed, filling that wasn't something I was putting on my to do list. So to help matters I spaced out the little amount of clothes I had along the rail and some in the dresser despite my efforts, it still looked big. I had a few other things in my room, like a set of shelves, not that I had a whole lot to put on them, I had a full length mirror too, speckled with what looked to be black paint but it did its job seeing that I wasn't one to use mirrors much. I still couldn't recall the last time I really looked at myself in one.

Stepping inside the room I closed the door behind me as I leaned my head against it. I wanted to make sure I really was being left alone before I moved away from the door. Glancing towards the mirror for some reason I was being drawn to it. Without hesitation I made my way over to the full length mirror.

Coming to a halt right in front of my mirror, I finally let myself see what I looked like. Picturing how I looked had grown difficult as the names of colors faded from my memory. I started at the top, looking at my hair I brought my hand up and pulled my hair down from the bun I had placed it in this morning. It looked soft so I reached up and touched it, running my fingertips through it. What was this color? What had they called it before. Ebony? Letting my fingers reach the end of my hair, which was longer until my mother cut it after I got here.

Slowly I moved my hand over my face with my fingertips, tracing my jaw and then my cheek bones. My skin had looked white, no, not white, pale was the word. It lacked the darkened tint my brother and mother shared. My eyes I remembered, Hazel. They weren't as bright as I imagined they would be. I knew it was a reflection on how I'd lived my life all these years.

Bringing my hand down, I took a hold of my shirt and pulled it up over my head. Tossing it in to the hamper before looking back in to the mirror to take a look at my body. I always knew I was skinny, not eating much does that to a person. As for my height I had to say I was pretty short for my age. If I had to guess I was about 4"7, give or take an inch.

Glancing down at my arms I cringed as I took a closer look at the needle marks that went up and down both arms. It seemed the nurses and doctor found it easier to deal with me in an unconscious state then awake. I couldn't help it when a person skin came into contact with mine it felt like I was being burned, still does. Who in this world wouldn't scream or yell out at the feeling of being burned?

Unable to look at myself for much longer, I turned from the mirror as I closed my eyes. Taking a few deep breaths, I was able to calm down a little but I didn't turn back to the mirror. Seeing what I was now only reminded me of where my mind would go if I continued to look. Unwillingly traveling back into my past to my untold story, bringing back the memories of what the past did to me to, how it had made me the way I am. I wanted nothing more than to keep it locked away.

Squeezing my hands in to fist at my sides I started to shake as anxiety slowly took over my body. Without even thinking about it, I moved swiftly towards my bed where I grabbed my pillow and blanket before heading over to the corner. Dropping it to the floor, I soon followed it as I fell down on to my knees. Curling up in a ball I pushed myself back as far as I could into the corner. Closing my eyes I tried to make myself relax as the darkness over took my mind.

My eyes shot open causing my breathing speed up at the sound of someone screaming from downstairs. Not sure how long I had been lying there, I took a quick glance out the window to find it was now dark out. Hearing voices again I knew my mother was home, which made me push myself back in to the corner even more.

Hoping she would just forget about me for one night. It had been the same thing every night since I came back. My brother would forget to feed me and she would drag me downstairs to eat whatever was leftover from what my brother had fixed. Closing my eyes I pleaded with her to just stay downstairs for once.

Hearing a loud bang as my bedroom door slammed in to the wall behind it. Without even opening my eyes I knew she was standing there waiting for me to get up. I could see the anger building up in her eyes. Feeling my body start to shake I pushed myself onto my knees as she started in on me.

"Willow when are you going to learn you have to eat. You can't just hideaway in this room all day. It's not good for you and I don't care if this is what you're use to. I need you to stay healthy, don't want those stupid people from the state saying I can't take care of you. Then where will I be, all of this will be gone thanks to you. Now move it young lady before I really get mad."

Taking off down the stairs I just let her continue going on about how hard it was for her to have me back. It wasn't like I asked to come back here. This was someone else's idea and yet here I was getting blamed for it every day since it happened. Without one word I sat down at the table and took a bite of whatever was on the plate in front on me.

Food didn't mean the same to me like it did most people. I couldn't seem to taste it so what was the point in trying to enjoy it. So I never really caring about what I was given to eat. The only thing I saw food being good for was to keep me alive. Then again I never really seem to eat enough to keep myself going. I didn't see the point in making myself stronger. My life wasn't going anywhere but down.

While taking another bite I keep my eyes on my mother as she paced back and forth in front of me. Every so often she would stop and glare at me.

"Would you eat faster!" she snapped at me all of a sudden.

I didn't know what to think or do, she had never done that before and yet she didn't stop there.

"You know what you little brat, some of us have to get up early and go to work. We can't all be lazy like you. Lying around all day in that stupid corner you seem to like so much. Would you please stop dilly dallying and eat your damn food, Willow."

Fear spread throughout my body with each word she spoke. I had no idea what she might do next. All I could think was; "Please don't touch me," over and over again. Taking a few quick bites, hoping that would make her happy but it seemed there was nothing that was going to change her mood.

Setting my fork down as I chewed my next bite, I started watching her begin to pace once more. I figured she had to be tired after working all day, then having to come home to a house that looked like a pigsty. At least that's what she had said the house looked like to me too many times to count. I didn't really see a problem with how the placed looked. Then again I mostly stayed in my room, hiding away in my corner.

Lost in thought I hadn't realized that my mother had stopped pacing and was once more staring at me. Tilting my head up I gazed into her eyes only to find them even more irritated. Leaning back in to my chair I waited for her to unleash her wrath on me. Without warning, she kicked the chair in front of her and started yelling at me again.

"I've had it with you Willow! I didn't ask for you to come home and I'd send you back if it didn't mean I'd lose this place. Stupid reservation and their stupid rules. I'm tired of wasting my time on you. If you don't want to eat then fine don't eat but remember whose fault it is when they put you back in the cold white room alone."

My eyes widen with each word she said, in the end I didn't think they could have gotten much bigger without popping out. Biting my lip I sat frozen in place until she turned away from me and walked out of the dining room. I knew time was passing as I watched the entry way for my mother or Jon to come in but no one did.

Not wanting to sit there all night I stood, picked up my plate and made my way over to the trash can. I lifted the lid up and dumping what food was left on my plate in to the trash. Taking a deep breath I placed the plate in to the sink before walking out of the kitchen.

Proceeding through the living room and up the stairs, I made it to my room in no time. Shutting the door behind me I leaned myself up against it for a few minutes before crawling back in to my corner. After closing my eyes I still wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go back to sleep.

**(So you all know what to do. Let me know what you think by clicking on that little button down there, thanks)**


	3. Chapter 3: The Forest

**(So I'm re-posting all my chapters since I have re-edited all of them. Sorry if this confuses any one of you.)**

**Re-posted: 7/11/2010**

**Disclaimer:I do not own any of Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 3: The Forest

I wasn't sure what had at first woke me up, the only thing I knew for sure was it had come from outside. Sitting up, I kept as quiet as I could, listening closely to the noises around me. All of a sudden I heard it again, a wolf's howl! There was no way I was hearing things right, then when I heard it for a third time I knew I was not mistaken. Hearing the howling a fourth time caused my breath catch in my throat for I realized then how close the sound was to the house. Sitting there I paid closer attention to everything that was going on outside.

Paying no attention to anything other than the howling outside my window, seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours. Before I knew it so much time had passed that it was almost five in the morning. As my eyes moved off of the clock sitting on my night stand they drifted over to the window. Not sure, what was drawing me to the window, all I knew was I had to see what was outside deep in the forest.

Pushing myself up onto my knees, I then stood up, as I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a quick glance out the window. Feeling shivers go down my back I pulled the blanket tighter around me. That's when I realized I was still wearing my bathing suit. I really did need to learn to pay better attention to things like this. Calmly but with a small amount of anxiety running throughout my body, I took the steps that would bring me closer to the window.

Once I found myself in front of it I reached for the lock before quietly opening it. I knew it wasn't a wise move but I just couldn't seem to stop or more like I didn't want to stop myself. Of course I forgot about how much colder it was at night until the sharp wind blew in striking my bare arms and legs. Instantly I started to shiver as goose bumps covered every inch of me.

It didn't take me long to figure out this wasn't going to work. By this time my teeth were chattering and I couldn't hear anything over them. I had to get dressed before I froze to death, not that I minded that much at all. Yet at the same time I had this feeling that I needed to know what was going on in the woods behind my house. I was drawn to this wolf's howl something that had never happen to me before. In my whole life, I had never cared about anything or anyone, not even myself.

Unable to take it any more I spun around just as the bitter wind struck my body again, sending more chills down my spine. As I shivered more I looked from my closet to my dresser. Not sure which one to go to first, in the end I headed over to the dresser. Opening a few drawers, I took out what clothes I needed before shutting them. Spinning around I made my way over to the closet and throw open the doors.

Snatching a hold of a pair of comfy jean and a long sleeve green shirt. I pulled both of them off of their hangers. Tossing them on to my bed, I then proceeded to change out of my swimsuit and put on my other clothes. Once I was done slipping on my last sock I reached for my hoodie that was hanging off my bed post. Sliding both arms in to the sleeves before walking back over to the window. By this point, I knew what I was going to do or maybe deep down I've known all along, I just wasn't ready to admit it yet.

Placing my feet into my clogs as I pulled the window open the rest of the way, I pushing the screen out and took a quick look to see how close the roof of the garage was to my window. If I was one to smile, I'm sure there would have been a big one across my lips when I saw that I was only a few feet from the roof.

Leaning my head back in, I then proceeded to bring my leg up and slid it out the window. When it was out and I was almost straddling the window seal I bent over to move my head and upper body out. Twisting just a bit to grab hold of the window edge, I held on while I brought my other leg out. Gradually I lowered myself until both feet were touching the garage roof.

Fairly pleased with myself I let go of the window edge and glanced around to check if anyone was out that might try to stop me. Not seeing anyone I then cautiously walked towards the front of the garage. Not seeing any way for me to get down there, I moved to the side and then the back. That's when I realized that the roof slanted downwards as it came to the back of the garage.

This was a very good thing, seeing that if I was right I could hang over the side and drop down without getting hurt. Not wanting to waste anymore time I dropped down to my knees, where I could feel the roughness of the shingles through my pants. Still not sure how I was going to get myself to be hanging off the side, I sat down with my legs handing off the side as I bit my lip to think about it.

After a few minutes I realized that if I just turned around from this potions I could slide off the side. Twisting my body around as I grabbed on to the frame of the roof, then slid my behind off and rotated the rest of my body around. Making sure, I had a firm grip on to the roof's frame before I gradually lowered myself down.

Taking a brief glance down just before letting go, realized then that I had misjudged the distance. What I thought to be only 2 foot drop looks now to be more like 3 and half to 4 feet. Knowing that I wasn't strong enough to pull myself back up and waiting for my mother or Jon to find me was out. With no other choice other than going through with my plan, I took a deep breath just before letting go.

Landing to the ground on my feet but unable to take the impact I fell back on to my behind. As I felt a sharp pain shoot throughout my behind, a groan escaped my lips. I had not meant for this to happen, so I was a little shocked that I had let that occur. For it had been a long time since I had let myself express any kind of emotion. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rolled over on to my side hoping it would help to relieve the pain some.

While all of this had, taken place there had not been one howl then without warning another howl came to my ears. This one was even closer than any of the ones before it. I almost felt like I had been watched the whole time I was sitting on the roof and trying to get down from it. With that thought passing through my mind I knew that if I was going to do this I had to get moving. Pushing up on to my knees after rolling on to my stomach, I didn't waste any time in getting up to my feet.

I took a brief glance back at the house to see if anyone had heard me. Not seeing anything, I headed for the edge of the forest. Not sure what to do now, I really wanted to see what was wrong with this wolf. Yet at the same time I knew what could happen if it saw me. Taking a few steps past the trees, I tried to listen for any movement near me. That's when I heard it another howl but this one felt like it was almost right next to me. Jumping back, I could feel my heart rate start to speed up as I scanned the area looking for the origin of the sound.

My head came to a sudden stop as my eyes widened at the sight that was in front of me. It was huge, enormous, I would have to say almost as tall as a horse, if not bigger, seeing that I haven't ever seen a horse in person I really couldn't tell which one it was. You could tell under its brown fur it was thicker in build, much more muscular then a horse. Though I wouldn't say its fur was a brown, brown. More like a light brown color, I know there is a word for this type of brown, sandy I think that's what people would call it. I was not sure if I was right or not, seeing how I really did not know much about the difference in what color was named what.

Ever so slowly, I moved my eyes up its long body. Come to a halt at its long muzzle that looked like it hid some very massive dagger-like incisors behind it. Forcing my eyes to continue on only stopping this time when I came to its eyes. The breath in my throat came to an abrupt halt at the sight of his beautiful hazel brown eyes. They seemed so sad, as if they had never seen a day of happiness in their whole life. Made me picture how my life was and wonder if it was possible for an animal to be treated the same. Could this wolf really understand how I felt? Did he know what it was like to be so unloved?

Shaking my head I knew I was just fooling myself. There was no way any animal that was wild and free could understand my pain. Now I'm not one to feel sorry for myself or to have other people feel sorry for me. In truth I just wanted to be left alone, I wanted my little corner back in that small padded white room. Nothing in this world could make me happier than being back there.

I leapt back to reality as a low whine came from the wolf's mouth. Taking a step back as it finally dawned on me that at any second this wild animal could strike me down with only one blow. Not that I really minded if he did at least I wouldn't have to live a life of fear. Keeping my eyes on him the whole time, I failed to see the tree root until it was too late. Throwing my arms back I tried to catch myself but was unable to as my back slammed in to the tree and I slid down it.

Landing on my behind, I glanced up to see why the wolf hadn't attacked yet. Seeing that he still hadn't moved a muscle I closed my eyes and just let the pain flow throughout my body. It seemed I was in a mood to inflict pain on myself tonight instead of letting others do it. Which was something very new to me, I had always made sure to avoid anything that would cause me to be in pain.

Taking my time, as I opened one eye at first, then the other one. I knew he would still be there, for I hadn't heard any movement from him while my eyes were closed. What shocked me though was the fact he still had yet to attack. At that moment in time, I don't know what came over me. All I knew was I couldn't sit there and just wait.

"Why are you toying with me? Just get it over with already! I know what you want, so why don't you take it already? Or are you some sick, sadistic wolf who likes to play with your food," I screamed at him or at least I tried to. In the end, it only sounded like a soft whisper.

My eyes almost popped out at the sound of my voice, I couldn't tell you the last time I had heard it with my own ears. Sure I screamed whenever I was touched but I never spoke. I was surprised by how much different it was from the voice in my head. The voice in my head was so hard, very strong deep voice that you could hear the pain from my heart screaming out with each word I thought. Yet my real voice, the one I never let speak was smooth, sweet almost musical sounding as if I was singing yet it was soft as a whisper.

Staring into his eyes once more, I waited for an indication that he was getting ready to strike now that I had challenged him to. Neither one of us moved for what seemed like forever. We were like statues, sitting there at the edge of the forest. All too soon my mind began to wander back in to my dark passed. Most times I would struggle to drive them back, I just couldn't seem to do that this time. It was like there was something inside this wolf that wanted me to open up, let out all my pain.

Then without warning, he let out a faint whimper that drew me back from the brink of my dark past. Never before had I come so close to the shadows that had hunted me every day of my life. Squeezing my eyes tight together, I forced myself to calm down, to find a way out of this mess I had put myself in. I also needed to find what it was about this wolf that had drawn me out of my bedroom, out in to this chilly night.

Shifting my position so I could sit up straighter, I couldn't help but cringe as a sharp pain shot through my back. Hearing myself moan, I opened my eyes to find the wolf slowly crawling forward towards me. Feeling my breathing increase, I watched, waiting to see what he was going to do next.

Fear rushed through me as I pressed back in to the tree more with each move of his paws. All too soon he was right next to me rubbing his nose up against my right arm. I jerked to the left hoping he would get the picture that I wasn't fine with him being so close to me. It didn't seem to work though; he just moved closer again and rubbed his nose on my arm once more.

"Please stop!"

My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I realized that I had let myself speak again. How was this happening? Why did I feel so free with this wolf? Free to do things I would never do in front of human. Letting a sigh out as the frustration built up from not being able to answer these questions. Not to mention the hundreds of other questions that ran through my mind.

Without even thinking about it I brought my eyes up to stare into his once more. Suddenly feeling a little bit braver I moved back to my original location, making sure the whole time never take my eyes off of his. It seemed at the same time he sensed my need for him to back away some.

"Wait, please don't go!"

I don't even know why I said that, it wasn't like he could understand me nor could he? For it seemed like a few seconds after I asked him to stay, he moved back. Cautiously I raised my hand up to the top of his muzzle and rubbed my finger tips over it gently. I would have never have guessed his fur would be so soft and smooth. If I didn't know better I would say it felt like, now what's that word I'm looking for, fuzzy I think that's the word.

"What is it about you that makes me feel so comfortable to be around you? I mean you're a wild animal shouldn't you be trying to eat me right now? I don't understand this at all and I don't think I want to," I told him, still stunned that I was being so open with a wolf.

It wasn't long before my whole hand was lying upon his nose, rubbing gently back and forth. Gradually I moved my hand up to the top of his head, then back down. Watching his eyes closely I could tell he was enjoying what I was doing. Without even thinking about it I moved up on to my knees so I was kneeling right next to him. Then without warning he laid down on his side and let out a soft whimper. That sounded like he was happy that I trusted him, not to mention I was touching him.

Not sure what to do at first, I sat there with my hand frozen on top of his head for a few seconds. When suddenly my curiosity took over and my hand moved down to his shoulder, then down further to his stomach. Stroking my hand back and forth I knew I was right about how the rest of his fur would feel. It was just like satin, it almost made me want to lay my head down on his stomach and curl up next to him.

As the notion passed through my mind, I thought I would have been more scared then I was. Who in their right mind would think about cuddling up with a wild wolf, let alone a wolf at all. Then again I wasn't in my right mind, was I? At least that's what everyone tells me. Without any hesitation after that thought, I laid myself down next to him and snuggled up close.

Burying my face in to his nape of his neck, I knew I was right about his fur he was just like a blanket. Being this close I was able to smell the earth's dirt, not exactly a musty smell but certainly wasn't a floral scent. He smelled of the forest, a faint hint of the pine needles, maybe he'd slept in them before.

Unable to stop myself, I found myself yawning. It appear my lack of sleep was catching up with me. Slowly I closed my eyes, for it seemed I couldn't fight the inevitable anymore. "I don't know what it is but I find myself feeling so free with you," I mumbled as I cuddled close and drifted off to sleep.

Lost as to where I was when I first heard someone yelling my name. I knew the voice, it was Jon but why was he looking for me? I was in my room, hiding in my corner, wasn't I? Taking a deep breath I smelt something different then the stale air that was in my room. No this was more of a woodsy smell, like trees and dirt mixed together. Forcing my eyes open I found myself snuggled up to a big fur ball. That's when it all came back to me, the forest, the wolf, and me sleeping next to him.

Hearing my name being called once more by my brother I shot up in to a sitting position. Glancing back towards the house I cringed at the fact that I would have to go back there. It seemed so surreal that I felt safer with a wild animal, and then I felt with my own flesh and blood.

Turning my eyes back on to the wolf I knew he had to go before my brother found him out here. Not taking my time I stood up and headed back to my house. Sensing him following me I turned back to him. "No you have to go. You can't come with me," I told him before taking another step. This time it appeared he didn't want to listen. "Please, I'm begging you stay or go back to your home. Please I don't want you hurt ," I pleaded with him this time.

Lowering his head I could tell he didn't want to do as I asked but he had no other choice as far as I could tell. Slowly he turned from me and took a few steps back in to the forest. Not sure what to say or do now I smiled softly as I whispered "Thank you." He turned to look at me just as my words came out. I'm not sure if I was seeing things or not but I'd swear that his eyes lit up when he saw my smile.

I have to say it was the first time in my life that someone was happy to see me smile. Though I have to be fair in the fact that no one has ever seen me smile. Not even before the accident did I smile, I was known as the quiet, shy baby who never seemed to want anything and there wasn't a thing that could make me happy. If only people had known what I was really going through and I wasn't about to show them, I refuse to go in to the darkness that was my past.

I waited a few minutes to watch him leave before taking off for the house. Making sure to glance around the yard so my brother couldn't sneak up on me as I walked towards the back door. Biting my lip I thought about what waited inside the house for me. Coming to the door I wasn't sure if I wanted to go inside. Thinking about it some I wondered if I still had time to find my wolf.

Confusion washed over me as to why I would refer to the wolf as mine. Shaking my head I knew trying to figure that out right now wasn't helping anything. Taking a few deep breaths, I started my way up the stairs and opened the door.

**(So please let me know what you think by clicking on that little button down there, thanks.)**


	4. Chapter 4: The Kitchen

**(Posting new edited chapters, sorry if this confuses anyone)**

**Re-posted: 7/11/2010**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 4: The Kitchen

It wasn't hard for me to figure out what was going to happen when I stepped inside the house. Jon was going to start yelling and I would just stand there, taking it. I never really cared much what he had to say. He was just a stranger to me, someone who I had to be nice to or at least act nice to. Not that I really acted any different than I did right now.

Though I would have to say my behavior outside in the past few hours was so not my normal. I still couldn't explain what happened to me out there. It was like that wolf, my wolf, I really liked that, had some type of charm over me. If there was such a thing as charms. Making my way inside it was so quiet I couldn't help but flinch when the back door slammed shut. I had expected my brother to be standing there in the kitchen with his arms folded over his chest. To tell the truth I was taken aback that he wasn't there.

Moving a few more steps in to the kitchen, I tried to take a peek in to the living room. Realizing I hadn't moved far enough in to the kitchen to see anything, I moved a little bit further towards the living room. That's when I saw him coming down the stairs.

"Willow Summer Stands where are you?" I could hear the anger in his voice. I was pretty sure that with each word he said he became more frustrated. I knew that there was no way for me to get away from him. So I made my way in to the living room, only coming to a stop when I knew he could see me. The second he saw me his speed picked up and he was standing right in front of me before I knew it.

Scared to watch his face I kept my head bent down with my eyes squeezed closed, waited to see what he would say or do. I hated waiting it only made it harder when he finally did act on his anger. Starting to feel as if it was taking forever for Jon to act I peeked out of the corner of my eye. I could see that his hands were curled up in to tight fist at his sides and he was fighting to control his anger. My only conclusion for this was he knew if he touched me there would be hell to pay from the tribe council. I was not sure why but my mother seem to be scared of the council for some reason. What I did know is that it had to do with me, which made no sense I was nothing but an unwanted child, who was nothing to anyone.

"Where the hell were you? I've looked all over this house and out in the yard for you. Did you really think I wouldn't notice your window wide open and you're gone?" Jumping back slightly when the first of his words left his mouth. There was no denying how irritated he was becoming as he continued to speak. Keeping my head bent for I knew he wasn't done, Jon had never been one to just say a few words and walk away. No he had to let all of his anger out. Most times he went way overboard with what he said, at least that's how I felt about it.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull Willow but I won't have any of. You will not run off and get yourself hurt. Making it look like mom isn't taking care of you!" Did he really think that's what I was planning to do? I really had to say Jon knew nothing about me, then again he would have to stop being so selfish to see anything but himself.

"No I'll make sure that doesn't happen. Even if I have to lock you in that room of yours. You can be sure that your window will be boarded up this afternoon. This will never happen again, now get up to your room and don't let me see you out of it again." Fully knowing that if I tried to step around him that would only make his angrier worse. So stayed put, waiting for him to move out of the way.

"Damn it Willow get out of my sight before I change my mind and don't give you any food today," he screamed at me as he moved to the side so I could make my escape.

Not waiting another second I compelled my feet to move and took off for the stairs. I rushed up the stairs as if I was being chased by the shadows that surrounded my past. Coming to a stop as I entered my room, I shut the door and leaned against it waiting for the banging to start. I just knew Jon was not going to let this go, he would follow me to either yell at me more or worse. After a few minutes passed and nothing happen I let the breath out that I was holding, I forced myself to take a few deep breaths to help calm down. Once I was sure I didn't hear any footsteps coming up the stairs I pushed away from the door. Crossing the room, I made my way over to the window. Where I picked up my blanket from the spot I had dropped last night.

In a hurry I wrapping it around my shoulder before huddling back in to my corner once more. Keeping my eyes on the door scared that any moment it would swing open and Jon or my mother would be standing there. Time was never something I keep track of so I wasn't sure how much time pasted before my eyes became too heavy for me to keep open.

"Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang…" Squeezing my eyes shut tight, all I wanted at that moment in time was for the pounding in my head to stop. With each bang my head screamed out more, begging for it to stop. It didn't take me long before I realized that the banging was just in my head. It was coming from somewhere in my room or around it. Opened my eyes, I found my sight to be hazy at first. So I repeatedly opened and closed them for a bit until I could see. Pushing my hair back behind my ear, I scanned the room to see where it was coming from. Not seeing anything until all over a sudden I saw movement out of the corner of my eye outside of my window.

Sitting up I tilted my head to get a better look at what was going on out there. It wasn't hard for me to figure out that it was Jon and he was following through on his threat. "Bang.. Bang…Bang…" Squeezing my eyes as the pounding started up once more. Knowing he wasn't going to just stop because I asked him to, not that I would ask him. So all I was left to do now was deal with the banging until he was done.

Scooting back in to the corner, it didn't take me long before I was doing my favorite past time, looking at the walls. Most of the time when I did that I would let my mind drift off into nothingness. I was half way to that point when I saw the bowl on my dresser. Confusion rushed through me as to how or more like who put that there.

Curiosity is a strange thing for it can make you do things you never planned on doing at all. Figuring out who put the bowl there wasn't that hard to do. For the only person in the house right now was my brother. There was no way my mom would come home to just place something in my room. So the questions here was, What was inside that bowl and did I really want to move to find out?

Balling up my hands in to fist I couldn't fight it any more, I just had to know what Jon had brought up for me. Getting up on my hands and knees I crawled over to my dresser. Reaching one hand up, I took hold of the bowl and pulled it down to my eye level. Cereal, he was actually giving me food? This was something very new to who my brother was. In my heart I felt that there was something going on that was leading to this change. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to find out what it was.

Keeping hold of the bowl in my right hand I made my way back to the corner before I dug in to my dry cereal. Not really my favorite, then again there really wasn't food that I like. Well maybe one kind of food but that's something I will never let myself have.

Once I was done I pushed the bowl to the side and laid back down. The rest of the morning seemed to just drag by, it felt like the afternoon was never going to come. I knew now that I'd never really realized how boring my life was. Maybe it was the fact that nothing had ever happen before to make me see how I was living. My wolf changed all of that, only a few hours with him and I knew I wanted something more. What that was I was not sure but I knew that if it was to happen I could not stay here. No staying in this house, well that would only be the death of me.

I think it was sometime around 3pm when Jon finished with his work on my window. By this point my head was killing me from the banging his hammer was making. Never one to take anything for my pain, due to the fact that it meant I was going to get a needle stuck in my arm. I laid there and suffered until my mind slowly blacked out.

Waking to my mother screaming wasn't high on my list of ways to wake up. Ok that thought alone just makes me want to start laughing, if I was one to laugh. Never in my life have I ever made list about things but with what happen this morning I'm guessing that as all changed. For the number one reason on my list of ways to wake up would be waking up next to my wolf.

Hearing my mother scream at Jon once more I squeezed my eyes hoping to shut out her high pitched voice. Not lucky enough for that I decided to find out what my mother was yelling about. Listening closely, I keep my eyes shut hoping it would let me concentrate more on what was going on downstairs.

"That stupid council why can't they just keep their little stuck-up nose to them self." I could not help but jump at the sound in my mother's voice as those words left her mouth. It was nothing but pure disgust for whoever she was talking about.

"What's wrong now?" Jon asked in a pissed off voice.

Hearing a chair's legs scratch across the floor in the kitchen as Jon pulled it out from the table. Letting out a long sigh now that I knew where they were. I did not need them surprising me by showing up in my room since I knew what ever was wrong was about me.

Noticing my mother had started to speak again, I tuned out everything that was flooding my mind at that moment. "Oh let see first they order me to bring your sister back or face the consequences of losing my house. Now they feel that letting Willow stay here during the day it's good enough for her. Oh no they want her to come stay at Sam and Emily Uley's house while I'm at work."

Catching what my mother had just said I wondered if this would make Jon mad or happy.

"Excuse me , they what!" that last part was screamed at my mother.

"Listen here young man I got enough men yelling at me as it is. I don't need you on top of it. I thought this would make you happy. No more watching the little brat, you can do whatever you want during the day. Now you want to yell at me for something I have no control over."

"Sorry mom, don't know what came over me. Just tired of them trying to control us." I could tell my brother was not too pleased at having to say sorry to our mother. He never was one for admitting when he was wrong. It did not help that my mother made it look like he was the perfect child.

"It's alright Jon just still pissed off about what happen today."

"So how did you find out about what they want you to do with the little brat?" Just like my brother, do not think he has ever spoken my name in my whole life, other than when he is yelling at me.

"Well to start off I got a call from Billy Black right after I got in to work today. Not really a phone call that I could say made my day. He just keep going on about it was tribal duty to let Willow explore her ancestry. I had to fight with myself not to scream at him that her mind didn't work right so what would be the point in trying to teach or show her anything."

Stopping for a second she let out a sigh before going on. "Then as if that wasn't enough who goes and shows up at my job, the one and only Sam Ulley. He wanted to take me to lunch so we could talk. It was more of him telling me that I was to have Willow at his house tomorrow morning or they were coming to get her."

I could feel myself start to shake as the words left her mouth and came to my ears. They were coming to get me but who are they and what do they want with me? All this talk about tribal duty and ancestry had me so lost that I could feel my mind started getting overwhelmed with the information I was trying to process. Hearing a loud bang that sounded like Jon hitting something forced my mind back to what was going on down stairs.

"How can they do that? Who the hell do they think they are? Coming in to our home and telling us what to do with that little brat. Life was so much better off with her where she was at."

"I know Jon, please calm down. We don't want anything bad happening do we?" My mother said this in such a soothing voice to help my brother gain his composure. I never did understand how my mother was able to calm him down with just her voice. The sound of chairs squeaking across the kitchen floor told me someone was on the move. The question that haunted me now was who, who was moving and where were they headed.

"Well if I'm going to drop her off and talk to those three tomorrow before heading in to work on time, I better get myself to bed. Night Jon, just going to check in on Willow. Did you feed her today?" I hadn't even thought about my stomach in the whole time I'd been up. Hearing my mother talk about it now I remembered that the only thing I had to eat was the bowl of dry cereal.

Opening my eyes for the first time since I woke up it hadn't dawned on me that was going to be dark out. Taking a few minute I blinked my eyes to help them adjust to the darkness that had over taken my room. As soon as my sight was not blurry anymore I took a quick look around my room. First thing I noticed was the shadows from the street lights outside that were dancing throughout my room.

Tilting my head I watched them for a bit, I had to say in a way they were quite pretty. I was quite surprised me some that I was even taking the time to notice how the lights were hitting off of each of the object in my room. Something had changed about me, I had this sudden wakening feeling since I meet the wolf in the forest this morning. I just want sure if it was going to turn out to be a good thing or bad. Could I trust myself enough to let go and open up? More importantly could I trust the world not to close in on me once more?

Lowing my head I set my sight on to the floor where I saw for the first time a plate of food. Not sure how I could have missed that with eyes scanning the whole room for the last few minutes. With a shrug I gave up on trying to figure it out and pushed myself up on to my knees. Kneeling in front of the plate I took a look at what Jon had brought. It didn't look like much, though as hard as I tried I couldn't come up with the names of each item.

Biting my lip, I questioned whether I wanted to even attempt to try to eat this mess of food that sat in front of me now. Then my stomach growled and I knew I should at least try to eat some of it. Picking up the fork that was located next to the plate I started to move the food around on the plate. Knowing I could not put off not eating for much longer so cautiously arranged some food on to the fork. Bring it up to my mouth I reluctantly took a bite.

Thankful at that moment in time that I did not care what my food tasted like. For just after one bite I knew this was not even worth eating. Forcing myself to continue on I was almost done with it when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Shoving the plate away from me I inched back in to the corner. Moving my gaze over to the door I waited to see if or when my door would open.

In the end I didn't have to wait too long for the door to be force open. Standing just outside my room was my mother who stepped inside as the door swung forward and hit the wall behind it. Unable to take my eyes off of her as fear over took my body. I don't think in my whole life I've ever seen my mother this mad.

"It's nice to see you eating on your own Willow," she commented to me just before leaning up against my dresser.

Crossing her arms my mother stared at me for a bit before opening her mouth again to speak. "Not sure if you were listening to what was being said down stairs or not. I really don't care, all I care about right now it that you understand one thing. Tomorrow morning you will be getting up early to go visit some very important people. So I want you on your best behavior, none of this yelling or screaming when you feel that someone isn't doing as you like. Do you understand me, Willow?"

I didn't really think she wanted an answer to her question. It felt more like she expected me to do as she said whether I wanted to or not. It was in that moment in time that I truly grasp that my mother was never going to believe what was staring her right in the face. I was the broken child, the unwanted child, I would forever be hated by every member of my family.

Sucking on my lower lip, I held my breath in as I tried not to move, to scared that any type of movement might send her over the edge. Time seemed to run slow as she just stood there staring at me. Mercifully the phone rang downstairs and my brother called out for her. "Mom, it's for you."

Without a word she walked out shutting the door behind her as she left. Pushing myself back in to the corner as far as I could I covered my head with the blanket and waited for sleep to take me or dawn to break. At this point it did not matter to me, which happen first.

I was not sure whether sleep had taken me sometime during the night or if I had laid there awake all night. I just knew was that I felt like I hadn't sleep one bit when my mother slammed open my bedroom door to tell me to get up. Every part of my body screamed out for me to stay put as I stood up to follow her out of my room.

To lost in what was going on with my body I missed my mother turning around right in front of me. So when I bumped in to her my eyes widen and I jerked back away from her. Squeezing my eyes shut I fought with ever fiber in my body not to scream out from the fire that burned me.

Finally I opened my eyes to find my mother glaring at me. I glanced up in to her eyes and I could tell she was just waiting for me to go off. She knew that what had just happen was something that went passed my point of comfort. Well this time I was not going to let her win. Struggling with everything inside myself I forced my mind to block out what happen. Time ticked by as my mother just keep staring at me getting madder by the second. I was not sure how long it took her before she finally snapped.

"Why are you just standing there? Get your butt moving, you need to shower and be dressed in twenty minutes. Move it Willow."

Biting my lip I felt myself start to shake as I squeezed passed her. Twenty minutes later I was climbing in to the back seat of my mother's car. Half happy that she had made me take a shower for it help wake me up some. Now I wasn't feel quite so tired or wore down. Putting on a pair of jean shorts and purple long sleeve shirt once I was out of the shower and had dried off.

Once I had finished getting dressed, I made my way down stairs, heading straight for the kitchen with the other clothes I might need for the day. I pulled out a paper bag I placed the clothes inside before making my way outside to wait for my mother. Where she ended up meeting me not two minutes later.

Before climbing in to the car I tossed the paper bag that held my swimsuit and towel on to the seat next to me. Once I had myself in the car and the door shut I put my seat belt on and waited. Hearing the car start I was not sure what I was suppose to feel at this moment in time. Most of my life all I have ever felt was fear but right now all these new feels were rushing throughout my body and I just could not seem to get a grip on any of them. Then there was that nagging voice in my head that keep telling me that whatever was going to happen today would change my life forever.

**(Please review, just a word or two about what you thought, thanks)**


	5. Chapter 5: The Dining Room

**(Ok so I'm re-posting chapters due to the fact that I have edited all over them and find that they are much better. I'm sorry if this confuses anyone)**

**Re-posted: 7/11/2010**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 5: The Dining Room

I closed my eyes when my mom started to back out of our driveway. I knew no matter what happen today I had to keep myself calm somehow. After a few deep breaths I opened my eyes, hoping that I hadn't missed my favorite part of the forest. I'd seen it the day I was brought to my mother's house.

Glancing out the car window I waited for my mom to pass the little clearing in the trees. It was the only one for miles that I knew of. Most of the woods around the roads of the reservation had overgrown bushes surrounding them. Therefore, the only way you could see into the forest, was to force your way through all of the shrubbery.

I'm sure most people would not have noticed the clearing unless they were searching for it. In fact I never would have expected it to catch my eye but it had. It stood out through the faint rays of the sun that had escaped the leafy treetops. The golden light illuminated the green plant life around me. Deep forest green and a light emerald surrounded the quiet little spot.

What really caught my attention was a stream back in the distance that babbled quietly as it flowed over the smooth rocks. Closing my eyes I tried to imagine what the smell of the water would be like. Sweet but with a slight nip to it, a slight temperature drop surrounded the mountain water. I could imagine to be cold, enough to send pins and needles throughout your body even if you only put a toe or finger in.

Right now all I wished for was that I was there instead of my mother's car. Someday I hoped to gain the courage to go exploring the forest around La Push and find my little clearing. Yet in my heart I knew that I would never be strong enough to go out in to the world on my own.

Though it felt like it was taking forever to pass it I knew any second we would be upon it and then it would be gone from my sight all over again. Sensing a change in the outline of the trees I knew we were getting close. With my eyes wide open, the anticipation grew more and more with each second that passed. That's when I saw it, the one thing I did not think I would ever see again.

There he was, my wolf, sitting on his hind legs just outside the opening, watching the road. It was almost like he was waiting, waiting for just the right car to pass. He seemed very relaxed for a wolf that was sitting so close to the road; however, I could not help notice that he showing a suspicious behavior as well. His ears were pricked forward away from his sandy colored head, which looked alert as he held it high. While his eyes slowly narrowed in, almost tense looking it seemed and yet his tail continued to wag nonstop from side to side. He stayed so still, as if he was frozen in this position determined not to move a muscle until he saw what he was looking for.

I didn't care that I could not touch him or speak to him. All that mattered at that moment in time was my wolf was still here. It did not take long for my eyes to lock with his, that is when I knew who he was waiting for; me. Yet I could not help but ask how he knew I would be passing this spot at this point in time. It seemed so insubstantial that this wild animal, this crazy over sized wolf would be waiting for me.

In was in that instant the world seemed to come to a complete stand still. With every breath I took my heartbeat got stronger. I was sure my mother could hear it, for it felt like it was echoing throughout the car. Then all too soon we drove by the clearing and slowly my wolf faded from view. Though the whole time I never took my eyes off him and even after he was gone from my sight, I still keep looking out the window hope against hope that he would somehow show up again.

Feeling the car slow down I was not too surprised to see that we were there already. Being in a small town it does not take long for you to get to your destinations. Unbuckling my seat belt as my mother put the car in park, I reaching over to take a hold of my paper bag before opening the car door. Stepping out of the car I made a complete one eighty as I scanned the area around the house.

The first thing I became aware of as I turned was the narrow dirt road that we came down just a few minutes before. There was not much to the property other then the small grassy section that made up the front yard, other than that there was nothing but the forest around the house. As my eyes came upon the house I noticed that it look to have just been painted.

Not sure if the color was a light blue or gray maybe both, though it wasn't like I was going to go ask anytime soon. As I took in the door I started to lean more to it being a blue in color since the door was also blue. This looked to have just been painted as well. Next to the door was the only window, it was narrow and had a window box underneath it. Inside the box were some bright orange and yellow flowers that seem to make the place look more homey and inviting.

Shutting the car door I made my way up to where my mother was standing. I'm sure in most cases like this the mother would take the child's hand to reassure them that all was going to be fine. Well this was not most cases and my mother was for sure not like other mothers.

Once I was standing next to her she took one look at me then glanced back at the house. I knew she was not going to just let me walk up there without saying something else to me. Therefore, the second her mouth opened and her hurtful words came up I dropped my eye down to the ground.

"I'm only going to say this one time Willow. You will not and I mean will not act up in that house or you will pay dearly for it. No screaming, no hiding in the corner because you do not like what is going on. If I could think of any way out of bring you here I would but my hands are tied. So you will just have to deal with whatever these people ask of you," my mother stopped for second to take a deep breath before continuing.

"Do you understand me? And don't think for a minute that I'm going to just accept you standing there and ignore me. I want an answer even if it is just a nod of your head."

Squeezing my eyes shut I focused on making myself answer her in the only way I would even possibly allow myself to. After taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I finally nodded my head. All I could hope at that point was my mother would be pleased with my nod.

It may have felt like a lifetime before she moved from my side when in truth it was only seconds. Right at that moment relief flooded throughout my body for I knew she was not going to push the issue any more. Most instances like this one she would continue to yell at me for hours to get me to talk, as if she could not grasp the fact that I was never going to speak to her.

Lifting my head up I became aware of in the fact that my mother was almost to the front door. Not wanting to be left outside by myself I took off after her. Once there I keep myself hidden behind my mother as she knocked on the door. Although, I did peek around her slightly so I could get a glimpse at whoever answered the door.

I could not help but bite my lip when the door opened and a slight squeaking sound came to my ears. Soon after that I could hear the woman who answered it yelling out. "Sam, I thought you said you were going to have one of the guys fix this door?" If I hadn't heard it for myself, I would not have believed that her voice sounded so sweet and musical.

"I told Collin to fix it yesterday afternoon. Seems like someone has put himself in the dog house now," a man voice called back from within the house.

Looking up I could not stop my eyes from getting wider at the sight I found in front of me. The woman who had opened the door had to be one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. She had long straight, crow-black hair; her skin I would have to say was the color of copper, which was so much prettier of a color then my pale beige skin.

With a smile on her face she started laughing at the comment that was made back to her. I myself did not really see what was funny about some guy having to sleep in a dog house. Without even thinking about it vision of a guy trying to sleep in a dog house came to mind. Shaking the thought out of my head I took notice that the young woman had stepped forward some to speak with my mother. That is when I caught sight of the rest of her face. If I thought my eyes were wide before I was so wrong. I think my mouth might have even fallen open some.

Reminding myself to keep breathing, I closed my mouth as I took in the right side of her face. For it was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, lived in color though they were long healed. While one line pulled down the corner of her dark almond-shaped right eye, another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

"Well this must be Willow?"

Hearing my name being spoken I pulled myself back to what was going on around me to find the woman bending down in front of me. Taking a sideways glance towards my mother I found her to have moved off to the side of the porch. I knew then that my hope in find an escape by hiding behind her again was lost. Closing my eyes for a second, I knew if I tried there was a way I could forget how this woman's face looked and just act as normal as possible, well normal for me.

"Don't waste your time on her Emily. She not going to speak hasn't spoken a word in her whole life. Now yelling or screaming that's a totally different story. The best advice I can give you is don't touch the girl," my mom told her.

I dropped my head at my mother's words. I hated being the way I was but I was not the one who did this to me. No, I just had to live with the consequences of other peoples actions.

"Well then why don't you two come inside? Sam, Billy and Quil Sr. are waiting for you in the family room Patricia. Sue could not make it this morning but she figured those three could handle it this one time without her. Willow here can stay with me while the grownups talk. How does that sound to you Willow?" she asked.

I think I was taken aback by the way this Emily person just ignored my mother's hateful words towards me. It was like she did not care what my mother had to say. No one I had ever met before seemed to regard my mother in such away. Most felt sorry for her, to have to lose my father the way she did. Following that is the sympathy they felt for her for having a child like me

With a soft nod I answered Emily it seemed that alone made her happy with me. I figured if she was not going to blame me for what happen, like everyone else did then I could at least try to be nice. With a smile on her face Emily stood back up and moved to the side to allow my mother to step inside.

Following close behind my mother, I walking in and was immediately taken aback by the amount of space before me. It was so well lit from all of the of the windows, I had to blink a few times in order to take in what was around me before I could actually look around. A set of stairs led to the upper rooms of the house and two couches were neatly centered on either side. There were plenty of places to sit, I wondered if they had a lot of people over. Like in my own house, there was also a TV in the living room.

Sensing movement around me I glanced back over to my mother who was heading back to the family room without even a good bye to me. Not that I was expecting my mother to be kind to me at all, I probably would have gone in to shock if she had been. I did however; think she would leave one last warning to behave. I never took my eyes off my mother as she walked down the hall. Once she was out of sight, I looked up to Emily with a questioning expression on my face.

"Don't worry dear everything will be just fine. Why don't you come with me, you can sit at the table and color in one of Claire's coloring books while your mom talks to Sam and the guys in the family room. How does that sound to you?"

Biting my lip I was not sure what she meant by coloring in some coloring book. These were things I had never heard of before and who was this Claire person? Could it be the same little girl from the beach the other day? Would she be coming here too? So many questions flew though my mind as I waited for Emily to make the first move towards the dining room.

Once she did make her way towards the dining room I pulled my bottom lip in to suck on as I moved to follow Emily. Taking slow steps at first I was not sure about all of this. Sitting at someone's table that I did not know, doing something I had never heard of. This was all so new to me how could I expect myself to do it here when I probably could not even do such a thing in my own home.

Stepping towards the kitchen I took in that the space was also big, perhaps it was just me but it looked bigger than my own. It looked to be a friendly place, bright with white cupboards and pale wooden floor-board. One of the counters came around that made half a wall to separate the kitchen from what I would have to call the dining room. In that area was a round table with six chairs around it. In the center of the table so pleasantly placed a cracked blue-and-white china pitcher that was overflowing with wildflowers.

"Hello Patricia, good to see you again." My head popped up and looked towards the hall way that lead back to the family room when I heard the man greet my mother. Not sure who it was speaking, at that point I just knew it was not Sam.

Thinking it best not to make a scene or let Emily know I had heard someone I continued to follow her. I stopped when I came close to one of the chairs and proceeded to watch Emily as she opened one of the drawers. Pulling out a book and box she then walked back over to the table. Once she had set them on the table, she pulled the chair at the end of the table out for me to sit in.

Not waiting to upset Emily I sat down quickly then placed my bag down on the floor next to the chair. Still not sure what this coloring thing was I folded my hands together in my lap and looked down at the table. I closed my eyes as my mother's words flowed throughout the house.

"Hello Billy, Sam, Quil, yes I'm sure it is seeing that I was requested to come over this morning or as I like to say ordered."

I would never understand how she could be so rude at times. At this point I was not sure if I should be listening in to their conversation or not. Emily did say it was grown up talk. Biting my lip more, I tried my best to block out what was being said but when the next words were spoken, I just could not seem to do it anymore.

"Now, now ordered is such a…forceful word. You have simply followed our wishes. Is there really such a need for that tone?" It was the guy who had said hello to my mother. It took a lot to hold in my laughter as I could hear the sarcasm in his voice as he spoke to my mother about her choice in words.

"Have you ever colored before? Or maybe you are too scared that you might do something wrong?" Hearing Emily speaking to me I looked over to find her bend down next to me. Somehow she was able to ignore what was being said back in the family room. Pretty sure she wanted me to do the same I tried to focus on what she was trying to ask me. Unsure about how to answer her, I look over at her hoping she would understand me with just a look.

Though try as I might I could not block out the next set of words my mother uttered. "Yes there is but seeing that you don't like it then I will ask you how should I act? You've forced my hand to get what you want. So here I am, dropping Willow off as you wished," you could hear the curdle tone in my mother's voice as she spoke. I felt ashamed that this woman who I called mother would talk to people in such away.

Watching Emily reaching over to pick up the box, my curiosity got the better of me so I continued to watch as she opened the lid before dumping out what was inside. Most times when someone was moving close to me I would have drop my head down to look at my lap. I found it better not know what was coming then to see it firsthand learned that the hard way a very long time ago. My eyes widen at the sight before me falling out of the box was small colored pens or pencils. In truth, I did not really know what to call the things that were being dropped out of the box on to the table.

"It's ok Willow; coloring can be fun if you like to make things look pretty. Now all you have to do is pick a picture, then pick a crayon color that you would like to start off with. It's all up to you on how you want your picture to look."

Turning my sight back to the book I brought my hand up and slowly opened the book up. Each page was different, yet they had one thing the same none of them had color on them. They were just black and white, it was like they were waiting for someone to add the color. That is when I finally understood what Emily wanted me to do. Picking up a crayon, I keep turning the pages until I found a picture of the woods. It reminded me of my wolf and I knew this would be the picture for me to color.

Checking the color of the crayon I picked up, I found it to be a color I did not want to use. Placing it back on the table I then set out to find the crayon that was the same color as the leaves and bushes I had seen on my way over here. While I looked Emily stood up and made her way in to the kitchen. At this point, I was too busy trying to finding the color I want to take the time to check out what Emily was doing now. Just as I found the right crayon, I heard voices coming from the family room again.

"The girl belongs here and you know it Patricia. We have our reasons and you should be pleased that your daughter is home." I knew that to be Sam's voice, but what I did not know was what he was talking about. Why did he think I belonged here? I did not even know who he was or anything about him. Why did it seem my life keeps getting more complicated then easier? That was a question I knew would not be answered any time soon, so I just keep coloring as I listened to what else had to be said.

"And you three think you know what is best for my daughter? I'm her mother, her blood not you three. You have no idea how hard this has been on my family. I know Jon nor I can go through what happen eight years ago again. Willow needs to be in a place where she cannot hurt herself or anyone else. Home is not that place."

Leave it to my mother to make this all about her and Jon. If I had to use one word to describe my mother it would be selfish. She just did not want to bother with me that was her reason for keeping me in that place for so long.

"I think being home with her family is exactly what she needs. Having her spend time with Sam here would benefit her I'm sure. I would think a mother would choose to keep her daughter rather then send her to be in a strange place where she has learned nothing of her life or why she was even put there." My eyebrows lifted at the sound of a third voice. This one much more stronger tone, yet gentle almost made you feel relaxed as you listened to his voice. Somehow I knew this man only spoke when he had something important to say.

"If that is what you think then maybe it is a good idea for you to spend a day with Willow. See how she really is because if she spends one minute more then she has to outside of one of your corners then you are doing better than I am. As for where I had her, to her it was not strange it was all she knew. I cannot help what happen or that the doctors thought it best for her to go there."

My mother paused for a second, not sure if she was thinking of what to say next or if she was done. Then without warning she broke out in to annoying laugh. I did not see what was so funny about what had been said to her or what she said back then she spoke once more and I knew then what she was laughing at.

"You really think Willow can learn she won't even speak, you all know that. As for telling her what happen sure lets tell my twelve year old daughter that she beat the living hell out of herself at the age of four. I'm sure that will go over just great."

It all happen so fast I'm not sure which one I did first, dropped the crayon, stopped breathing or my head popped up. All I do know is the words my mother just said were so unbelievable. That was the story she was telling everyone, I hurt myself it just could not be true. So lost in thought I did not hear Emily approaching until she bumped the table with her hip.

"Willow, are you ok? Your face it's pure white like you've just seen a ghost," she frantically

Glancing up to her I found her eyes just as I let the breath I was holding out. Lost as to what to do next I just nodded. To afraid that she would see right through me I quickly looked back down at the coloring book. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Emily placing a dish on to the table right in front of me.

"I thought you could use a snack. Now, I'm not sure if you like milk or not, so if you could just nod for me as a yes, I would gladly get you some."

She paused for a second before expressing her concerns about earlier, "Willow are you sure you are ok? I'm a worried; I don't like how your face looked just a second ago." I did not know what to do, so I just nodded my head again. I figured she could take from it whatever she wanted to.

"Ok if you are sure. Well I'm hoping that nod was for the milk as well. I will just go get you some. Now don't you be shy go ahead and take a cookie," she stated before walking off.

Lifting my head slightly I took a peek at the cookies in the dish. Biting my lip I fought with myself to stay in control as I saw what type of cookies they were, chocolate chips. The last time I had had one of these was that day, the day of my accident eight years ago.

They were my favorite, the only thing I loved to eat. The only bad thing was they were my brother's favorite as well and he did not share. Most times I was very good at sneaking one from the plate without him knowing. Then I would go hide somewhere in the house to eat it. On this day it was just too nice outside to hide in the house so I thought if I sat on the back porch Jon would not find me. How wrong I was, I had just taken my first bite when he walked out the back door_._

Squeezing my eyes shut I knew I had to push that day back down in to the darkness. It was not good to let it out, no it had to stay hidden. To many bad things could happen if I let it out. 'No, no, no,' I screamed in my head as I shook it. Wanting it to stop, I made myself open my eyes, looking around I tried to find anything at all that would grab my attention, take my mind off of my past and the dark place. It was in the moment that as I scanned the room that my eyes fell upon the window.

I was pretty sure my eyes were popping out of their sockets from the sight I was seeing. Two well built guys were fighting each other on the side yard. Off to the side I could see a few more guys just stand there watching them go at it. So in engrossed in what was going on outside I had not heard Emily approaching me from behind.

Loud gasp come from behind me and I turned sharply to find Emily rushing towards the back door. Throwing it open she run outside and started yelling. Her words came out to fast for me to even try to understand what she was saying. I knew it was serious since the second everyone outside heard her they all froze.

Picking my crayon back up I put my attention back in to coloring for I was too scared of what Emily might say about me watching those people. The soft sound of footsteps drew near me and before I knew it Emily was beside me placing a glass of milk next to the plate of cookies. "There now no need to worry about what just happen. Just the guys playing around, you keep coloring and please have a cookie."

Although it might have seemed like a long time since I heard my mother's hurtful words, I knew it was only a few seconds maybe a minute at most. So what the next words came from the family room I almost jumped out of my seat.

"You stay quiet!" I could not help but wonder who that was directed towards. For there was no way my mother would stay in that room if it was said to her.

" We do not suggest you tell her what has happened. But perhaps her coming here will help her to move out of that corner. Tell me what you have done to help her Patricia. Have you talked to her? Whether or not she talked what exactly have you done for her Patricia. That son of yours I'm sure has given her an incorrect visual of how a brother would be."

It was the third guy again and his words really got me thinking about what the answers to his questions were. No my mother has not done anything for me. As for talking, if yelling counts then yes she talks to me.

"You have no right to question me about what I have done to help my daughter. As for talking to her yes I have. She just choose to ignore anything I say to her. It is like talking to a wall," she snapped at them.

Hearing my mother take a few deep breaths before she continued, I could tell she was getting very irritated. For there was not a person alive that she would let get away with speaking about my brother in such a way.

"As for my son how dare you speak in such away about him. Jon has only done what any brother in his shoes would have done. He takes care of her while I'm at work. This leaves him stuck in the house all day. Unable to leave to be with his friends like any normal guy his age should be doing. So I do not understand how you can think Jon is giving Willow incorrect visuals of how a brother should be." You could hear the anger in her voice as she spoke the last few words.

"We have every right to question the child's well-being. And nothing about you is showing that you want to give her the time of day. There is no need for this to turn into an argument. Willow is here and she will remain at this house during the day so your son can go and act like a normal guy considering the importance of such things. Willow will stay here and keep out of everyone's hair. She is welcome here and is not an obligation as she is being made to be."

"You can say whatever you like Billy Black but I still know my rights as her mother. So how ever I see fit to take care of my child is my business, not yours and you have no right to judge me." So a soft growl came out once she had finished, which made me believe she thinking about his comment regarding this not being an argument.

"Fine you are right this does not need to become an argument and if you want to take on the responsibility of Willow's well being while I'm at work. Then who am I to stop you just know I want her home by 9pm what kind of mother would I be if I allowed her to be out at all hours of the night. Also I will be dropping her off at 6am every morning."

"That is fine Patricia, we will be happy to see her bright and early and we can help keep the inconvenience to a minimum by dropping her off. This way your son does not have to worry and you do not have an extra trip." I was a little surprised to hear Sam's voice again. He had been mostly quiet through the conversation.

It did not take much for me to know my mother was not happy with the way this morning was going. First Emily dismissing her and now the three men in there were talking to her like she was in the wrong. If there was one thing my mother hated the most it was having her faults pointed out for the world to see. Not sure what she would say next I held my breath hoping she would not go crazy and drag me out of here.

"That works for me. Now I have to be on my way before I'm late for work." Very slowly I let my breath out, happy that my mother had not let her anger show through this day. I knew it was not the end, she did not like any of this and somehow she would find away to take control once more.

It was then that the front door swung open to reveal one of the very tall well built guys from outside. No matter how hard I tried I could not take my eyes off of him. If I were smart, I would have looked away in fear for I knew he could break me in two with just one hand or maybe just a finger.

"Hey Em, is it alright for Claire to come in now? She really wants to see Willow again," he called out.

My eyebrows raised as I thought about that name again. I did not know a person named Claire so how did she know my name or who I was? These were the questions that ran throughout my mind. I soon found out the answers when I small figure appeared right next to the gigantic guy in the door way. At first, I could not believe my eyes, there was no way it could be her. That the child everyone has been talking about was the same little girl I meet at the beach a few days ago.

"Sure Quil!" Emily answered back.

Pretty sure I was not hearing thing but did not she say Quil was in the family room with my mother. Shaking my head I just ignored it as my thoughts went back to the little girl I now knew to be named Claire. Unable to stop staring I watched as she made her way over to the table. Smiling up at me, she walked around the table to take the seat next to me that was in front of the window.

"Hewwo Wiwwow, I'm happy to see you again. Was hoping you would come today." Without even taking a breath she turned to Emily and continued on. "Auntie Em, can I have a cookie and some milk please?"

Just the way she was, careful and innocent brought a smile to my lips. Claire was everything I had always wanted to be but could not. So taken in with Claire I had not heard Emily coming towards the table until she spoke.

"Yes you may Claire. I also brought you a coloring book so you can color with Willow," she said just as she placed the milk and coloring book on to the table in front of Clair and walked away. It was right then that I hear the guys saying good-bye to my mother.

"All right then, pleasure as always Patricia." I knew now whom that voice belonged to Billy Black.

Hearing footsteps coming down the hall I looked up to find my mother coming out of the family room with the most furious look on her face. Stopping for only a second she glanced over at me then marched right out of the house. She did not even wait for the Quil guy to move out of the way. What shocked me was he did not even get upset about what she had just done. He just stepped back the best he could as she passed. This surprised me because he looked like the kind of guy who got mad easily.

Feeling it was time to just disappear I focused my eyes back on to my coloring book as I slouched down in to my seat. All I could hope for was that these people would forget I was there, then maybe if I was lucky I could find a corner to hide in. However, I did have to say there did not seem to be that many empty once in this house.

So caught in how I was going to find a chance to hide in a corner I had not seen Claire pick up a cookie and set it on my coloring book. Lifting my head up, I could not help but smile at her sweet face. I would have kept my eyes on her if the commotion at the door did not draw my attention away.

At first I was not sure what was going on then one of the guys called out to Emily. "Come on, please Em, let me come in. I promise I won't do anything that could scare her. I just want to talk to her, please Em?"

The way he spoke made me wondered if he was talking about me. Curiosity got the better of me and I took a peek at his face. That is when all thought was lost, my eyes found his and I knew something was different about him. He looked at me like he was a blind man who was seeing for the first time in his life. Gazing in to his hazel brown eyes two questions invaded my mind. One was who was this man and two, where had I seen those eyes before?

**(Please let me know what you think by pushing that little button down there. If you do it will make me want to post chapter 6 sooner. I know you guys have been waiting a long time for that)**


	6. Chapter 6: The Path

**(I'm so sorry that this chapter has taken me so long. It was not my intintion to take so long, life just got in the way. So to those tha have been waiting for this for over a year I am truly sorry and hope that it was worth the wait. Just so you know I am working on chapter 7already, hope to have it to you soon.)**

**Posted: 7/21/2010**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 6: The Path

It felt like a trance, as if I had been pulled inside those deep hazel eyes never to be let go. Everything I felt in those few moments were so new to me. No matter how hard I tried to find the right words to describe them; I knew I never would. There was just something so surreal about the feelings that I felt running throughout my body. I wanted them to continue while at the same time I wanted to end as quickly as possible.

"What the hell do you two think you are doing?" Sam's voice echoed throughout the room as he yelled at the two guys fighting at the entrance. Pulling my gaze away from the hazel eyes that told me so much yet nothing at all, I glanced back to where Sam was now standing. The look on his face could have killed those two, that is if looks could kill. I made a mental note right then and there to never do anything that would cause Sam to look at me like that.

"I believe I told you to stay outside Seth and as for you Jared, I do not think it is a smart move to be fighting in front of certain people. So who wants to answer my question?"

Just watching Sam's face I could tell that neither one of the guys wanted to give him an answer or they did not know what to say for their actions. Not sure what might happen next I had the sudden need to hide. As much as I wanted to find the nearest corner to hide in I knew that would not go over to well. Therefore, I pulled my eyes away from Sam's face and looked down at my lap. Just a little part of me believed if I focused hard enough that I could become invisible. Then I would not have to worry about something bad happening to me.

Even though I was trying my best to stay out of the commotion that was going on in the living room I could not help listening in so if need be I could move out of the way. "Well are you two going to just lay there or would like to get up. I do have guest over but as I can see you two do not seem to care about that," Sam yelled at the Seth and Jared some more.

"Now, now Sam no need to be too rough on Seth and Jared," one of the other men who had been talking to my mother spoke up. From what I could recall it sounded like Quil Sr.'s voice. "As for their behavior in front of Billy and me, I'm sure we have seen far worse out of those two, well at least Jared we have. However, I do believe that Billy and I can understand what is pushing Seth to be acting in such a manner." While his words confused me, his voice did the total opposite. I still believed he had a very gentle sound to his voice. I'm sure it made any one he was talking to relax, well not everyone since my mother left here not to happy with his words.

"Emily, please,"

There is was again that sweet voice, while I enjoyed listening to Quil Sr. speak it held nothing to the voice that made me want to speak just so I could hear it once more.

"Sam, what do you think?" Emily inquired.

"I think once Jared leaves him alone Seth can behave himself," Sam answered back.

"Sure blame everything on me," a new voice bark out. It did not take a genius to assume that is was Jared speaking.

"No one is blaming anything on you Jared. We just think you over stepped it a bit when you tackled Seth in the door way. Do not see a reason for why Willow needed to see you two going at it. I'm sure you thought you were helping out; however, once Seth made it to the door Emily is quite capable of handling him herself," Quil Sr. stated.

The next few minutes seemed to go by rather quickly, Jared climbed off Seth, Seth stood up and made his way over towards to table. I only knew this because the chair next to me was pulled out and a rather large young man sat down in it. Biting my lip, I waited quietly to see what his next move would be. For some reason (a reason I was not sure of) he wanted to be inside so he could be near me.

I had thought he would come right out with what he wanted, that is how Jon always was. He never beat around the bush about what he wanted to say to me. Most times, I found that he even went too far when it came to expressing himself. When after a few more minutes passed I slowly brought my hand up and picked up the crayon I had been using. While I wanted to hide, I knew I could not; therefore, I had to find something to keep my mind busy.

Getting back to coloring, I tried my best to focus on what I was doing; however, I could not help listening to what was being said by the men in the living room. It seemed Billy and Quil Sr. were getting ready to leave. "Well it's time for us to be heading out. It was nice to see you again Emily as always. We shall see you next Friday at the bond fire. So cannot wait to enjoy your cooking again," I knew that had to be Billy. For one I remember his voice from talking to my mother, as well the fact that he sounded nothing like Quil.

"Why thank you Billy. You know you and Quil are always welcome to stay for breakfast. You know I always make enough," Emily answered back

"And we thank you for the invite Emily; however, you have other things that need your attention today, not two old men who can find their own breakfast. Now Quil I do believe it is time to take our leave."

"Sam, we will see you Thursday afternoon at the council meeting. I am sure Sue will want to be caught up on everything that happen today. Even though I am sure, she would have rather been here herself. Now that would have been fun to watch. Sue has always had a disliking for Patricia and her pity me ways," Quil Sr. added.

"Now, now Quil no need to encourage such things. Besides, I do believe Willow has gone through enough without having to see her mother fighting with someone. We are here to help with these matters not make them worse," there was Billy again and here I thought Quil was the reasonable one.

"Well you both are right as far as I'm concerned. Yes, Patricia need to learn a few lessons; however, Willow does not need to be involved. Therefore, Patricia will have to wait for another day to be put in her place. Today we will focus on Willow. Now off you two go. I do believe Emily has a breakfast to finish up and I need to speak to a couple of boys," Sam spoke up finally.

"Oh all right, good bye Emily. Good-bye Sam," Quil Sr. utter right before Billy said his good-byes. I was only sure they had both left when I heard the door close behind them. Even though I had been listening to everything going on in the living room I still kept my attention on the young man sitting next to me. He really had not done anything other than continue to stare at me. At times it was unnerving and others times I had this irking need to stare back at him. It was almost as if I was drawn to him in a way that confusing and exciting all at the same time.

Although I had that feeling to stare back I kept my eyes focused on what I was coloring. That was until I heard movement that was coming towards me. Glancing up I found Emily making her way back in to the dining room with Sam close behind her. Keeping my eyes on her I waited to see what she was going to do next. Once she passed me it was obvious where she was heading, the kitchen. However, Sam did not follow; he came to a stop right in front to me before bending down so that he was eye level with me.

At first I had planning to go back to my picture once I knew where Emily was. I did not know why but it comforted me to where she was in the house. Almost as if she was my safety net. No one could hurt me if she was close by. This was the first time in my whole life I had ever felt that way about someone. Well I cannot say that is fully true, my wolf did make me feel safe but I do not think he counts as a person.

Unable to go back to my coloring as I planned I turned to look at Sam to see what he wanted. All I could do was hope he did not try to touch me. I was doing so well, out of all the times I had wanted to hide since I had gotten here I had not. I made myself stay in my seat and waited out my anxiety something I had never been able to do before. After going through so much already I knew everything was riding on whether Sam touched me or not. There was no way I could make it through that without going crazy.

"Hello Willow, how are you this morning? I would offer to shake your hand but seeing that you do not like to touch other people, I will just greet you with a smile. I see my wife is trying to spoil your breakfast by giving you some cookies. Wish she would do that for me," he spoke so softly. No guy had ever talked to me in such a way. I just wish he had not brought of the fact that I do not like to be touched. I just could not help becoming sad at the fact I was so damaged.

"Oh you stop it right now Sam, no need to try getting some when I am just trying to make Willow feel at home here," Emily called out from the kitchen. I knew she was talking about Sam's comment about the cookies.

"See what I go through," he added quietly. It made me almost want to chuckle, but I did not.

"Well I am not going to take up any more of your time my dear. I am off to make sure some boys are getting their work done, as well as find out why someone has ignored his. So enjoy yourself, I shall see you at breakfast." With his last word spoken Sam stood up and headed in to the kitchen. My eyes followed him until he was out of sight, then I went back to coloring. Not much else for me to do; besides I was enjoying this coloring stuff. I liked how the black and white picture slowly started to take on a life of its own as I added color to it.

Gradually I got lost in what I was doing that I forgot all about the people sitting at the table with me. Claire seemed to be enjoying the fact she was getting a cookie before having her breakfast and the young man on the other side of me just could not take his eyes off me. While I did not really mind for it has happen to me a lot since coming home. This was one reason I preferred to stay home than go out with my mother or brother. It seemed when people found out who I was they just could not help staring at me. I figured that was what this guy's problem was; he had heard all the rumors about me and could not seem to decide if they were real or not. Well I hoped he did not start asking me about them for I would never tell him.

"Seth why don't you stop staring and try talking to her. Willow is not piece of art to admire. While I know she probably will not answer you back she does understand what you are saying. So try being nice, it might just get you somewhere," Emily called from the kitchen.

Hearing my name my head popped up to find the young man next to me shaking his head from hearing Emily's comment. "I know, I know, I just cannot help myself. You know how this feels Em," he answered back. This all just confused me even more. It seemed something was wrong with him and Emily understood what it was. The one thing I did know now was his name. The young man had a name Seth, I liked it, it seemed to fit him. I'm not sure why I thought this, I just did.

"Yes I know what you are going through Seth; however, going about it this way will not make things better. Talk to her Seth."

"Yeah talk Seth," the childish voice of Claire chimed in.

I almost wanted to giggle at Claire telling Seth what to do only I do not giggle. Those kind of these were left for little girls who had happy lives, like Claire. Not sure what to do I went back to coloring. I figured those three would work it out and if Seth wanted to talk to me than he would. I do have to admit I was kind curious as to what this Seth kid had to say. Lucky for me I did not have to wait long.

Hearing Seth clear his throat out I glanced up at him just as he spoke my name. "Willow, hi. I'm Seth, I'm sure you know that now since Emily said my name. Of course you could have not been listening. Well if you weren't than now you do know it and if you were than I guess I just told you it again."

"Seth stop rambling," Emily yelled from the kitchen.

"Sorry, so Willow what are you coloring?" he asked.

Squeezing my brow together I deliberate on whether I wanted to let him see my picture. I guess in the end I was taking too long to think about because before I knew it Claire was leaning over me with her face in front of me. "Wiwwow, hewwo are you going to answer Seff? I think you should let him see it."

Tilting my brow down I glanced up at her before glancing over to Seth. I almost felt as if I was being ganged up on. This was something that happen a lot at the hospital; however, I did have to say they did it a lot different than this. While I was looking at Seth Claire spoke up again. "Here you should have a cookie," she said just before setting a cookie down in front of me.

Dropping my head down I glared at the cookie. While it was very nice of Emily to allow us to have cookies so early in the morning I just could not bring myself to touch one. Not after last time, there was no way I would let myself go near the dark place.

"Hey Em can I have a cookie?" Seth asked.

"No," Emily answered back.

"Now that right there is just not fair. How come they get cookies at seven in the morning but I can't," Seth whined.

"I have my reasons Seth Clearwater. Reasons that you have no right to question," Emily told him as she made her way in to the dining room. "Now if you will be kind why don't you take the girls outside so I can finish up breakfast," she added.

"Only if you let me have a cookie," Seth said as he reached for a cookie. However, before he could even get his hands on one Emily reached out a whacked him on the hand. "I said no Seth," she snapped.

Everything happen so fast I did not even have time to react it until it all was said and done. In most cases like this I would have been in the corner by now. There is just something about this time that had stopped me in my tracks. All those feeling I had had earlier about Seth came rushing back. I felt very protective of him and I so did not like the fact that Emily had just hit him no matter what the reason.

Therefore, without even thinking about it I turned my head up to glare at Emily. Even though I knew there was not much I could do to her I was still going to show her how displeased I was with what she had just done. Only she took it the wrong way I knew this to be a fact by what she said next.

"Now see what you have done Seth. Why can't you just listen? Now I asked you to see if the girls wanted to go outside for a bit. So why don't you do that for me. If you are good I might let you have some cookies after lunch," Emily bark at Seth before stomping her way back in to the kitchen. At least that is how I saw it some might say different.

A few minutes passed before anything else moved or said anything. There was a little bit of an eerie feeling in the room until Seth after rubbing his hand the whole time did say something. "So Willow how about it? Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe we can head down to the beach. You seemed to like that the other day when I saw you with Claire. If you don't want to we can just walk around, Claire can come to if you want."

I was not sure what to do, I really wanted to finish my picture and yet I did not want Seth to leave. I had to know what this emotion was (I could not seem to find a name for) that I have been feeling since Seth first spoke. Looking from Seth and my picture I struggled with what I should do. After a while I could tell I was confusing Seth that is when Emily who had walked back in to the dining room to I guess see what was going on spoke up.

"Willow if you would like I can save your picture for you so you can finish it later. Maybe after lunch, I know the guys would like to take Claire, Nessie and you down to the beach for a bit. I do hope you brought you swimsuit?" I thought about it for a minute then shook my head yes.

I hoped she understood I meant yes to both things. "Me don't want to go with Seth, me go with Quil," Claire mumbled just before jumping up from her chair and taking off towards the hall. At first I was lost as to where she was going because Quil was outside. Then it hit me and I had to let out a soft chuckle.

"So how about it Willow you want to go outside?"

Pleased with the fact Emily would save my picture I pushed my chair back the best I could and stood up. That was all I needed to do to make Seth smile, which in turn made me very happy. As I went to head for the door I heard Emily's voice once more. "Now Willow don't forget your cookie." I turned to look at her to find her holding the cookie that Claire had placed in front of me in her hand. Quickly I took it and made my way outside with Seth.

Stepping out on to the porch as Seth held the door open for me I could not help to think about the fact that this was the first time someone had done such a thing for me. Standing there I was not sure what to do next. At first I watched Seth make his way down the stairs only to turn around to see if I was coming in was in the moment I knew what I wanted to do. Turning sharply I ran back inside to find Claire helping Emily pick up. I stopped in my tracks not sure how to go about asking for what I wanted.

"Willow did you need something or maybe you forgot something," Emily asked.

Shaking my head I looked to Claire and then the plate of cookies. By what she said next I knew she understood what I wanted. "Auntie Em can Wiwwow have another cookie?"

I had expected Emily to say no since in truth I had not had breakfast yet and it was still early. Therefore, when she said yes it took me a few seconds to register it. Hastily I made my way over to the table grabbed a cookie before making my way back outside. While I was making my way back outside I put the cookie in my pocket with the other one. I did not want Seth to see what I had. I knew he already knew about the one cookie I was not ready for him to find out about the other one.

Stepping back outside I was a little confused by the look on Seth's face. He looked almost hurt that I had just taken off without (I do not know) a word as to where or what I was doing. "Willow are you ok?" Seth asked. I had to think about that question, also had to decide if I was going to answer him. So far I had only acknowledged Claire and Emily. I was not sure if I wanted to let other people I what I like to call get close to me.

Gazing in to Seth's eyes I knew I would, I also knew he would probably get closer to me than anyone else ever would. I just was not sure how or why I knew that I just knew whatever I was feeling it made me trust him. Ready to get this walk started I made my way down the stairs coming to a stop right next to Seth. That's when I nodded my head yes to his question. That was all it took to make him smile again and then we were off on our walk.

Heading through the back yard I had thought at first we were just going to cut through the woods until we came upon a path that started at the edge of the yard. While the path look to be a nice size I was a little worried about walking it with Seth. He was such a big guy I could not help fear that he might end up rubbing up against me at some point during the walk.

Not sure what to do I stopped just before we got to the path and glanced up at Seth. I do have to say this was a bit hard. My 4'9 height was over two feet shorter than his who knows exact height. Therefore, I had to tilt my head back pretty far to look in to his eyes. I do not know how but somehow he knew why I was stopping. "Don't worry Willow you can go first if you do not mind me walking behind you," Seth informed me.

Biting my lip I thought for a moment before I nodded my head and started walking once more. I do have to say it was a very charming path. It was so peaceful out there the only sound that could be heard other than our footsteps was the birds and a few times I even thought I heard a frog or at least what I thought a frog sounded like. I was really starting to enjoy myself. The way I felt was how I had always hoped it would feel like if I ever got the chance to take a walk through the woods.

"So Willow what do you like to do?" Seth asked behind me. I had almost forgotten he was even there. I was getting lost in all the wonderful things around me. I could not help myself I loved the different colors of green that covered all over the trees and bushes that surrounded the path. Now Seth had to go ruin that feeling by asking me a question only it did not stop there.

"Ok, you don't like that question. How about you tell me your favorite color. Or maybe what TV show you like. Do you like to play video games? I have a friend who loves playing video games. When I'm not patrolling or here on the reservation I like to hang out at his house and play with him. I can see if Jacob will let me take you over there sometime. Oh can't forget to make sure Sam is ok with it as well since you are under his care."

He went on like that for over five minutes. I was beginning to wonder if he just like to hear himself talk or he was hoping I would say something in the end. It was in that moment I decided to let him know I was fine being out here with him he did not need to keep trying. Therefore, I turned around to face him, which in turn made him come to a sudden stop. "Willow is something wrong?" he asked.

Reaching in to my pocket I pulled the two cookies out and held them up to Seth. I think he was confused as to what I was doing at first. So I pushed my hand in to the air to show him I wanted him to have the cookies. After that it only took him a second to realize what I had done. Very slowly he reached out took the cookies making sure not to touch why he did. Which made me very please, this was a special moment for me whether Seth knew it or not I did not want to ruin it by screaming.

Standing there I watched Seth as he brought one of the cookies up to his mouth. Before taking a bite he glanced down at me with a smile and said thank you. All I could do was nod and spin around to start walking again. I had all by myself made someone happy and I knew he was happy. Not only did the smile he gave me let me know but the fact that he started humming right after he finished the last cookie.

The rest of the walk was a quiet it one well except Seth humming which I had come to enjoy, it added to the scenery I do have to say. Treasuring the time we were spending walking the path I so hated to see it come to an end; however, that is just want happen all too soon. In truth I had not even seen it coming I was walking along looking up in to the trees when I came to an over grown part of the path. Stepping through it I found myself standing in an open field of nothing but sand.

I was perplexed as to how I had gone from the woods to what looked to be a beach. Twisting around I found Seth close behind me, while I looked puzzled about what had just happen he seemed fine with it. In the end I just accepted that this is what was suppose to happen. So with a shrug I went back to walking, though this time I did not enjoy myself so much. The sand was hard to walk in and I just wanted to get to where we were going.

"Hey Seth, Willow, over here."

Hearing my name I jumped back behind Seth since now that there was room we were walking right next to each other. Peeking out from behind Seth I found Claire and the guy she and Emily had referred to as Quil earlier. I was still confused on that one, how could Quil be in the family room with Sam and Billy yet be outside at the same time. You would think I would have figured this one out by now since I did see two people leave Sam's house this morning and neither one looked like the guy walking up to us right now.

"Hey you two, took the other way out here I see," Seth called out to them before looking back at me. I only knew this because I glanced up at him when he started talking. "Willow it is all right it is just Claire and Quil. I know you have not met Quil yet but he is a friend of mine as well as Claire's. So he means no harm, come on out meet him yourself."

Slowly I let myself inch out from behind Seth by that time Claire and Quil had made it up to us. Though I was happy to see Claire I was not sure about this other guy. I could not help notice that he was also tall like Seth. In fact all of the guys that hung around Sam's place was very tall including Sam and to think I thought Jon was the only tall guy around. At least from what I have been able to see. Must be something in the food or water, though it only seem to effect the men.

"Hi Wiwwow, this is Quil. Quil be nice say hi but do not make her. Wiwwow like to be quiet to everyone but Auntie Em and me," Claire stated very happily. I could not help but be pleased by the fact she liked that I acknowledged her. Then Seth had to go and ruin her joy by bringing up that he was on that list now.

"Well you forgot someone Claire, Willow responds to me as well. In fact she gave me two cookies," he said with a smile.

"Well than maybe she will let me in as well," Quil said. "Hi Willow, how are you this morning."

I just glared at him. Sure I let Seth in not sure why just knew there was something there that I had never felt with anyone else. As for Claire she was a little girl, she had never done anything to anyone. Emily, well she was nicer to me than my own mother ever has. Now this Quil guy sure he was friends with Seth and Claire but I was just not that trusting. Therefore, I continued to glare at him that was until I heard Seth burst out laughing. Quickly I tilted my head up to see what was so funny that is when he said. "Man, you really thought she would just talk to you as if it was no big deal to her. Wow you have lost it. I said she responded to me not talked to me. Now if you asked her a question she could answer with a nod you might just get an answer. However, I don't see that happening either, not with the look she just gave you."

It seemed Seth had figured me out quite well. I was not sure if this was a good or bad thing. However, I do have to say I liked the idea that he would not push me in to things. He would just work around who I was to get the answers he needed.

"You are crazy. Everyone likes me, she'll give in I know. I bet she talks to me before you," Quil answered back with a little bit of announces to his voice. I do have to say he thought high of himself to think I would talk to him first. Little did he know I have never talked to another human in my whole life. In fact my wolf was the first thing I ever spoke to. I have never even said a word to myself when I'm alone. Much easier to just keep in all inside my head.

"I'll take you up on that bet and the next time we are patrolling together you will see you have already lost," Seth said with a big smile on his face. Which baffled me how could he have won the bet already when I have not said a word to him? Shaking my head I just knew I had to have heard him wrong.

So caught up in what Seth and Quil were doing and saying I all but forgot about Claire that was until I saw movement to my left. Glancing over at her I found her to be jumping around trying to get my attention it seemed. "Wiwwow come with me to play in the sand, please?" she asked excitedly. I just stared at her at first until she started begging.

"Pleaseee, please, please, please!"

Not in the mood to listen to it and neither it seemed was Seth or Quil I was going to just give in and go until Quil spoke up. "Now Claire what has your mom told you about nagging people. You asked now give Willow some time to think about it. Besides I'm sure in the end she will want to go. No one likes hanging out with Seth for very long."

I not sure if he was joking or not; however, I did not care what he had just said made me very mad. I wanted to do something, anything to make this guy suffer but before I could Seth laughed at what Quil had said. "Look who is talking, you have to hang out with a four year old."

"I'm almost five you know," Claire shouted back. I don't think it helped Quil's case any.

"Oh you go low little brother," Quil stated.

"You started it," Seth snapped right back.

Sensing Claire jumping around again I looked over at her, she was motioning her head to the side to let me know we should get out of there. Taking only a millisecond to think about I swiftly followed after her.

"Those two are so bad but not as bad as Quil and Embry. You will meet Embry later. I think Quil said Jacob has him on patrol. Not sure what that means but Quil does it too." It seemed once you let Claire start talking she never stopped. The whole way there all she did was talk about so many different people I lost track of them all. Since I still had not meet most of them I figured it was no big deal I will remember them better once I see their faces.

For two of the people it seemed I did not have long to wait. For within a few minutes of Claire and I getting to the spot she wanted to build the sand castle at a young girl, about nine I would have to say and a young man who was just as big and tall as Seth and the rest of the guys I had seen earlier walked up to us.

"Claire what are you doing?" The young girl asked.

"Nessie, want to play? Can she Jake, please?" Claire inquire.

I found it best to keep to the shadows while Claire talked to the guy about this Nessie girl staying with us to play. That had been my plans until Claire brought me up. "Please Jake Wiwwow and I need help with our sand castle and I know Nessie will be a big help."

"I don't know Claire. I don't really want to be that far from Nessie. Where is Quil any way and who is your friend?" Jake asked.

"Oh this is Wiwwow, Seth's friend. Seth and Quil are just over by the hill. They were making bets so Wiwwow and I came over here to play." I thought it kind of weird that she referred to me as Seth's friend and not hers. By the look on Jake's face he must have understood something by the way Claire had answered his question.

"Well it is very nice to finally meat you Willow. I do hope to be able to get to see you more. So how about it Nessie would you like to stay here and play?" Jake stated.

I had expected Nessie to say something when she answered Jake about staying only she didn't. Instead she placed her hand on Jake's arm and nodded her head at him. It appear that was all Jake needed before heading over towards where we had left Seth and Quil. Once Jake had left it did not take the three of us to get down to work. Before we knew it we had four towers done for the castle and had started working on a fifth. While I was enjoying the fun we were having I do have to admit the sleeves on my shirt were getting in the way. However, there was no way I was going to push them up. I was in no mood to explain what had happen to my arms to Nessie and Claire.

I had to say all was going good, for the first time in my life I was getting to play with other kids. So what if they were not my own age, they seemed to like me and that was all that mattered to me. No one ever likes me thanks to my mother and brother. These people seemed not to care about the things my mother has said about me. They wanted to get to know me even if I was quiet and refused to talk to them.

Busying myself with making a moat I did not see that another person had joined us. He probably would have gone unnoticed if he had not spoken. "Hey Claire, hey Nessie what are you two up to this morning?" So startled I leaped back a smidge and started glancing around to see who had just spoken. Looking up I found another tall man like all the rest I had meet today.

"Hey Paul, we are making a sand castle," Claire answered.

"You are, are you and who is your friend?" He asked while bending down so that he was leaning on one knee while the other was bent where he was still standing on his foot.

"This is Wiwwow, she is Seth's friend and staying at Uncle Sam's house during the day from now on," Claire answered him.

"Oh so this is the girl Seth has been talking about. Well hello Willow, how are you doing?" He commented. While I wanted to know what he was talking about I also wondered if he missed the part where I do not talk. I assumed he must have since he just kept looking at me waiting for me to say something. Which I did not, I just kept staring back at him. It would have gone on like this for hours I think if Claire had not leaped in with her own comment. "Oh Paul Wiwwow doesn't talk. If she likes you she might nod to answer you but me thinks it is too early for that."

Paul just continued to stare at me. I was not sure what he was looking until he stopped at my hands. "Well you know Willow it might help if you push up your sleeves. I'm not even sure why you don't just take it off. To each their own I guess but why don't you let me help you push them up so you can use your hands better," he point out just before leaning down reaching out for my hands.

Everything after that happen so fast I'm not even sure myself what all happen. I just know I felt his hand touch mine. His skin was on mine, my eyes widen and all I heard after that was a screaming. I knew I was the one screaming I just could not stop myself. It hurt so much I wanted it to stop. Quick I pulled my hands away backing up as I did. I kept backing up until I found myself right bumping in to a bush. All too hastily I crawled backwards underneath the bush not stopping until my back hit the trunk.

Bring my knees up I wrapped my arms around them tightly as I buried my face in to them. I could not stop shaking no matter what I did, which was not much. For no matter what I did I could not stop the burning that ran through out my hands and arms. He had touched me, I do not like to be touched. Why did he touch me? I could not figure out what I had done wrong to make him want to do such a thing. I was not being bad this time. I was just playing, am I not even allowed to play. Why did this always happen to me? What did I do so wrong?

I knew no matter how many times I asked the questions no one was going to answer them for me. None of this would ever make sense to me. I was the freak in a normal world just like my mother always told me. Pulling my legs tighter to my chest I closed my eyes hoping I could just hide here. Maybe they would forget about me just like everyone did all those years ago but this would be better. I won't have to deal with all the doctors and nurses like I did before.

**(So there it is, I hope you liked it, if you did or if you didn't please click that little button down below and let me know what you think, thanks so much.)**


	7. Chapter 7 The Bush

**I'm sorry this took so long but here it is I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Post 12/30/2010  
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Chapter 7: The Bush

At first, it was so quiet, not a single sound came to my ears. I had wondered if they finally realized I was just an insane little girl that they should not have even bothered with. I felt that way most of the time myself; even my own family felt that way. Therefore, why should other people think different about me? I was the girl that could not be touched, would not talk and ignored most of the people that spoke to her. So why would everyone think I was not a crazy girl who needed to be locked up away from the rest of the world. I myself thought such a thing should happen.

Be sides I was happy where I was at or at least I thought and felt as if I was happy. Never truly knowing what being happy was. I guess you could say I was content with my lot in life. Sure, I wished the nurses and doctors would let me be and that I could just drift off in to the world I had created in my mind. Those things never happen, yet I was fine with how my life was going. I was away from the one thing that could truly hurt me.

I was still puzzled about why I was brought home from the hospital. Anyone who paid attention could tell my mother did not want me there. So what was it that made her bring me home when it was clear that she had no interest in me at all. So many questions and no way to get answers that was the story of my life. However, I did have to say that if I watched closely (which I did) I was bound to find out all I needed to know.

Not only did I watch I also listened which lead me to be able to hear the sound of footsteps came to my ears. With each step that was taken, I knew they were coming closer to the bush I was huddled underneath. "Willow, I'm sorry please come back," Paul called out to me, this in turn just made me push back even more. My mind was screaming for him to go away, to let me be. I wanted them all too just go, to forget I was here, that I was even alive. That is when I remembered my wolf and how much I would miss him if I could never see him again. This in turn made me wonder if he would miss me if I were gone, somehow I knew he would.

However, even with that thought running through my mind I could not pull myself away from the bushes trunk. Closing my eyes tighter, I focused on what was going on outside of the bush. I could hear someone crying, I knew that it was not me so who was crying. Could it be Claire or maybe Nessie, though I have to say I did not see Nessie as someone to start crying over something like this. I do not know what it was but there was something about her that made her different from other kids; though, I could not seem to put my finger on what it was. With this knowledge, I knew that it had to be Claire but why was she crying.

Had Paul done something to her as well. He did not seem to the type of person who would hurt a little girl, nonetheless he did touch me. While I wanted to ponder this for a bit longer, I did not get the chance to when the sound of more footsteps as well as people yelling came to my ears.

"What the hell happen?"

"What happen? Why is Claire crying?"

"Where hell is Willow? Paul, where the hell is Willow? What the hell did you do?"

At first, I did not know who had spoken first until the other two voices had spoken. With the fact that I knew the second one was Quil and the third voice belonging to Seth that only left one other guy for it to be, Jacob. I tried my best to listen to all that was being said however, that became hard to do when everyone started talking on top of each other. What few words I did hear only told me what I already knew. I had crawled under the bush after Paul tried to push my sleeves up.

Very simple story to tell yet for some reason those four guy and two little girls it require a variety of words to tell it. Through the whole uproar, I could still hear Claire crying this knowledge made me sad. I did not like the fact that I was making her cry, that I had hurt her. I knew it was my actions that had caused her to start crying I learned this fact when Quil had repeated back to everyone else what Claire had been trying to say through her tears.

If I could have, I would have dragged myself out from underneath the bush just to make her stop crying. I just could not seem to do that. My whole body was frozen in place and it seemed nothing was going to get me to move, not even Seth. I knew he was upset about what was going on. I could hear it in the tone of his voice, it kept changing with each word he spoke. I have spent many years paying attention to the tone of other peoples' voices. There was no hiding from me how upset or mad you were I could always find out whenever you choose to speak to me. I was not sure if he was getting angry at me or at someone else. All I knew was I was not going to be climbing out anytime soon to find out.

I knew I could not take it if this young man who I was coming to like ended up just like all the rest. He was mad and knew somehow some way he would make me pay for what I had done. Now I really did wish they would all go away, forget about me. If making them upset or mad was all I could do then it was best they did just leave me under this bush. I just hoped they realized that too and soon. I did not want them to keep trying to get me out only to find themselves more upset at me for wasting their time. With these thoughts in mind, I began to wonder how I could let them know that it was fine to leave. That I did not need them to stay if all it did was make them angry.

Only I knew there was no way to express this fact unless I came out from under the bush, which was not going to happen. In the end, I figured it would just be best to forget about what was going on outside of the bush. There was nothing I could do to change all of their minds. Therefore, I would just have to stay under the bush until they did finally give up.

Then I would find a way back to my mother's house where I would hide in my room for the rest of my life or until they finally let me go back to the hospital. To say the truth I did not think it would take my mother all that long to make that happen. Curly up tighter, I kept my eyes closed as I closed off myself from everyone outside of the bush and prepared myself for a long wait. However, it was not even a second after I did that Seth's voice pulled me back to the one place I was trying to forget about.

"That's great and all but where the hell is she Paul? Where did she take off? Think you forgot to tell us that little part." I could not help jerking back in to the truck of the bush from how loud Seth was yelling. Saying it startled me would be an understatement. Who was he yelling at. The answer to that question came faster than I thought it would.

"I don't know. Her screaming freaked me out, I started looking around to see if there was something behind me causing her to, and when I did, I didn't see where she went! I swear!" Paul hollered back. I knew they were talking about me I just could not believe they were wasting their time on a no body such as myself.

"What the hell! You don't know where she went. How the hell could you not know where she is? Are you blind?" Seth barked back at Paul before I even had a chance to figure out why they were arguing about where I was. Hearing nothing but silence after that I assumed it was over with; however, I was wrong.

"I just cannot believe you would so such a thing. You know what she means to me. Really, what were you thinking Paul? How would you like it if I did something to Rachael that she did not like or want to be done?" Seth stopped there for a second, just long enough for me to wonder whom Rachael was. "I'm working my hardest to get Willow to trust me, to trust us then you have to go pull one of your stupid stunts. Please tell me what the hell were you thinking?"

"Maybe if you kept a closer watch on her none of this would have happened," Paul snapped at Seth for what he had said.

"What hell did you just say," Seth growled out before a loud ripping sound came to my ears.

My eyes popped open as the last few words that were being said, just before the growling came to my ears. A smarter girl would have questioned the growling; however, I was too busy focusing on what had been said. I now knew Seth was not mad me, he was mad at Paul. He really did care for me; it was not just something in my head. Someone cared for me; someone truly liked who I was. Wanted to get to know me as a person, not just for the insane girl I was believed to be.

My heart swelled with such happiness, something I had never felt before. I wanted to climb out from under the bush, run to Seth and hold on forever. I knew he would keep me safe, that nothing bad would ever happen to me as long as I was with Seth. Only I could not seem to move. Even now after hearing his words I knew that I could not help asking why. Why me? I was nothing special. In fact, I was far from being special. I was just an insane little girl whose mother let the world think she beat on herself.

Feeling this sudden need to know more, also hoping that it might let me in on why Seth cared for me I listened to what else was being said between the guys. Only by the time I, started listening once more there was no more talking. In fact, the only sound I could hear was whining. This confused me quite a bit; I could not seem to figure out who would be whining. By this time, Claire had stopped crying, in fact, I could not hear her at all.

Thinking about it some, I started to realize I could only hear two sets of footsteps. On top of that, another sound was coming from the group that was left outside the bush; I just could not seem to place what it was. Stumped on what could be making the new sound I started to get lost in my mind as I listed off all the things it could be. I would have still been doing that if I had not been pulled back by the sound of Seth's voice saying my name.

"Willow, honey please come out. No one is going to hurt you. Paul is sorry for what he did. He did not mean it. Sweetie he did not know you do not like to be touched. It will not happen again. So please come out." I could hear the sadness in Seth's voice and as much as I wanted to go to him, to believe he was telling the truth I just could not move. I had heard those same words before, only in the end to find out that it was nothing but lies. There was no way I would fall for that trick again. Wanting, no needing to find a way to block them all out I buried my head in to my arms even more. Making sure to cover my ears up; however, it did not help for within seconds of doing that I heard Seth talking to me once more.

"Willow, please you need to come out. Come on sweetie it is time to eat. I'm sure you have to be hungry. Don't you want to come out so you can get something to eat before all the guys eat it all? Come on Willow, please." My stomach grumble from hearing Seth talk about food. I had not eaten since last night and that was not that much. As I have said before my brother is not a good cook, which does not matter much when I never really taste the food to begin with. However, right about now I was quite hungry. I was just not going to chance that it was just a ploy to get me to come out.

"Willow, sweet little girl won't you please come out. I need know you are safe. Please Willow, I can't see you and that scares me. Willow I can make them all go away if that will make you come out. No one wants to hurt you honey, please Willow. Please come out." There he was gain asking me to come out, to come to him. I wanted to so badly but I still could not move. Therefore, I let his voice do that only thing it could for me now. I used it to help relax myself and just as I figured, I was drifting off to sleep.

There was just one problem I could not seem to stay a sleep. Every time I would drift off a new sound that I had not heard before would come to my ears. The one that really got my attention was the sound of movement coming from all around the bush. This had to mean that they were looking for other ways to get to me. I was not at all happy with this face.

Needing to know how many there was I started listening closer and counting the footsteps I heard. By the sound of steps that were being taken, I knew there had to be more than just one person walking around the bush. That or the one person was moving around very fast. I did not see that as being possible so I went with the theory that there were a few people walking around out there. It was not too soon after that, that I started to hear voices coming from those said people.

"Nothing over here. How about on your side?"

"Nope, I got nothing. I have no idea how we are going to get her out of there."

With the voices being too muffled or too far away, I was not sure which I could not make out who had spoken them. I just knew that neither one was Seth; however I did not have to wait very long to hear his voice and what he had to say confused me greatly.

"Hold on I have an idea. Jacob, over to the far left, phasing now."

"I'm heading that way now. Remember to take it slow. Don't forget that she will be scared of whoever approaches her, no matter who it is," Jacob called back.

On top of hearing what Jacob had said I also heard many footsteps moving around. Then out of nowhere, the bush started to move behind me. Suddenly my eyes dart open and I glance around scared of what I might find. At the same time, I pull my knees tighter to my chest and pushed back on to the bush's stump. To say I was stunned at what I found moving towards me would have been an understatement. For I had no idea, how it was possible, let alone how he knew, I was here but somehow my wolf had found me.

I eyes locked with his instantly. I did not know what it was there was just something about the way he looked in to my eyes that made me feel something I had never felt in my whole life, loved. Gradually he moved closer to me, I knew he was doing this so I would not get scared. One day I hoped to tell him that he could never scare me. He was my wolf and I knew he would never hurt me. Do not ask me how I knew I just knew.

Once he was with in arms reached, I let go of my legs and brought my arms up to wrap around his neck, pulling myself away from the bushes truck as I did this. The second I felt his fur I could not hold back my need to be close to him any longer. For that reason alone I snuggled up to him and buried my face in to his neck.

It felt as if time had stood still from that moment on but I knew it had not, for I could still hear everyone moving around outside of the bush. I was hoping that they would just leave, let me stay with my wolf. I was happy with that idea; however, I knew that was not going to happen. At some point I was going to have to let go, drag myself out from under the bush otherwise someone might see my wolf. I knew that if he were seen nothing good would come of it. They might even try to hurt him and I could not let that happen, I needed him he was my only friend in this whole world. Well that was until I meet Seth but I still could not lose my wolf.

It was just as I was about to let my wolf go that I felt myself being moved. Lifting my head, I was shocked to find myself being dragged out from under the bush. Fearful of what was to come I gripped on to my wolf tighter. I would have probably held on forever if he had not started to nuzzle me with his nose. I tried to keep my laughter in but in the end it was too hard and a soft laugh escaped from my mouth. I knew what he wanted me to do; I just could not seem to do that was until he whined softly. Loosening my grip on him, I slowly pulled my arms down to my side. Before I knew it he was licking my face, which caused me to giggle. I wish I had not giggled because right after I did he turned from me and took off.

I tried to stop him by calling for him to stop; however, I could not seem to get my voice loud enough for him to hear or maybe he just chose not to listen to me. Sitting up I pulled my knees up to my chin as I waited to see what would happen next. I knew someone would come find me and when I heard footsteps coming from my left I knew they would be here any second. Even though I knew they were coming I could not help pushing myself backwards until I bumped in to a tree that had been behind me. It was right at this moment that Sam and Quil came in to my line of sight. I could feel myself shaking, I knew I had done something wrong and now they were going to make sure I learned a lesson.

"Willow, sweetie, are you ok?" Sam asked

I was not sure how I was suppose to answer him. Even if I would talk to him that had nothing to do with why I was confused. I was sure he was here to punish me for what I had done so why was he asking me if I was ok. It made no sense to me, then again none of this did. My whole life was a big mystery to me.

"Willow please calm down. No one is going to hurt you. We just want to make sure you are fine and not hurt in any way. Can I please come closer to you?" It was Sam again asking to come near me. Before I even thought about it my head was shaking no to him. The only person or thing I wanted near me other than my wolf was Seth and he was nowhere to be seen. In fact I had not heard from him since he called out to Jacob that he had a plan. I could not help wonder what happen to his plan because he nothing to do with what had happen and what was going on right now.

"All right Willow that is fine for right now but you cannot stay here all day. You need to let us help you. I am sure you are hungry. Do you want to get something to eat?"

I knew I was hungry but I had learned from passed experiences not to fall for the nice routine. Therefore, I stayed where I was, there was no way I was moving an inch until I saw Seth. I knew he would never hurt me just from the world he had said earlier. I was safe with Seth, no one else. If I had not known better, I would have thought Seth knew I was waiting for him because within second of me wishing he would show up he walked out from behind the trees on my right.

At first when I heard a noise to my right I had thought it was one of the other guys coming to help Sam and Quil out. Just the thought alone had me shaking more. I did not even realize I was holding my breath until I let it out when Seth came in to sight. Never taking my eyes off him I watched as he walked over to Sam whispered something in to his ear before turning towards me. Glancing back and forth between Sam and Seth I waited to see what would happen next. I did not have to wait long before Seth took a step towards me.

"Hi Willow, is it ok if I come over and sit next to you. I promise not to touch you and I won't make you do anything you do not want to do," Seth asked as he took another step my way. Again, I did not even think about it before my head was nodding yes to his question. I had not even finished nodding before he was sitting down next to me. At the same time Sam and Quil made their exit from the area.

"Are you ok Willow?" Seth asked.

I did not have to think before answering him, therefore I quickly nodding my head yes.

"That is good, I am happy you did not get hurt while you were under the bush. Were you scared while you were under there?"

This question I did have to think about, I would not say I was scared about being under the bush but I was scared about what would happen when I finally came out from under the bush. I wanted to tell Seth that only I knew there was no way I could get the words out. In the end I shook my head no figuring that someday I might be able to tell him the truth.

"Well that is good," he stated as if he only half believed me. I could not help wondering if he knew I was not telling him the whole truth. After thinking about it for a few more minutes I knew that there was no way he could know I was hiding something from him.

"Are you hungry Willow?"

That one I also did not have to think about to answer, therefore I nodded my head without having to think about it.

"I thought so. What do you think about me taking you back to the house so you can get cleaned up as well as eat some breakfast?"

I must say I was taken aback at first by what Seth had asked me. Did he not understand what had just happen after that guy Paul touched me? There was no way he could take me back to the house unless he meant for me to walk with him. I just did not know if I would be able to get up, walk back to the house with him only to find out my punishment was waiting for me there. After thinking about it, I knew I had to shake my head no and so I did.

"Willow, please listen to me, no one and I mean no one is going to hurt you I will not let them. So please Willow let me take you back to the house. I promise not to touch any part of your skin at all. Just let me help you, please."

I could not believe he was begging me to let him help me. What was it about me that made him want to help me so much. None of this made any sense to me, then again nothing about my life made sense to me. Glancing in to Seth's eyes, I knew he had meant ever word he had said to me. I just had to let go of my fear and finally trust someone. I just did not know if I could do that then I remembered what Seth had said after finding out what had happen to me. I knew then if there was anyone, I could trust it would be Seth. With a quick nod of my head, I gave in and let Seth know he could take me back to the house.

"What! Are you sure? Ok just stay calm we can figure this out. Damn, I mean darn please do not tell Emily I said that in front of you. All right, I think… no that will not work. Ok what if… no that will not work either. All right the only think I can think of that might work is if I pick you up by the knees and shoulders, I can avoid touching you. Is that all right with you?" I think my answer took Seth by surprise for I had never seen anyone stumble over their words the way Seth had just now. Although, he did seem to pull himself together rather quickly.

Not sure how to answer if, I knew we were taking a risk but I also knew I could not stay hidden in the woods for the rest of my life. Even if that did sound like a good idea at least to me. Knowing Seth was waiting for an answer I tried to nod my head yes only I could not seem to get it to move. I knew it was my fear taking hold of me again. All the what if's were invading my mind and I could not chance that his hand or arm might slip. Then where would we be right back to me freaking out. I could not let that happen nor would I let that happen. It was all becoming too much and I had no idea what to do until I glanced in to Seth's eyes pleading with him to help me.

Everything after that happen so fast before I knew it Seth had moved to his knees, picked me up and started walking out of the woods. Unable to help it or stop it I started shaking and pleading that this would work. That Seth would not touch me that we could make it back to the house without something bad happening. "It's all right Willow, I have you. I won't let anyone or thing hurt you," Seth whispered close to my ear. It was almost as if he knew that just those few words would help to calm me down and they did. The next thing I knew I felt the wind blowing through my hair as Seth took off in a sprint.

Burying my face in to Seth shoulder I let myself feel free for the first time in my life. It is as if I was flying through the air, only I had Seth's strong arms holding me, keeping me safe from all that could hurt me. I should have been scared of all the emotions that were running throughout my body but I was not. I could not help but enjoy them, all of them. Then before I knew it they had come to an end. Seth started to slow down and I could hear voice coming closer to us. Tilting my head up, I could see that we had made it back to the house. With this fact know I slowly prepared myself to be set down once Seth entered the house only that never happen.

While Seth did slow down he did not stop until after he had carried me through the living room, up the stairs and in to the first bedroom at the top of the stairs. Gently he placed me down on to the bed and sat down facing me. "Are you all right Willow? I did not touch you did I?" He questions came at me so quickly I was not sure which one to answer first. I also did not want him to flip my answers and assume I was not all right and that he did touch me. I had to think; however, no matter how much I tried to figure out how to answer him nothing came to mind.

Lost as to what I was going to do I pushed myself backward in to the pillows that were piled at the head of the bed. The whole time I kept my eyes on Seth hoping maybe he would figure out I was a bit confused. He shook his head for a few second before speaking once more. "Ok I'm sorry Willow that was too fast for you let me ask you again only this time I will ask each question one at a time. Is that ok with you?"

I quickly nodded my head yes to answer him.

"Ok good now my first question are you all right?"

Again I nodded my head yes to answer him.

"Good I'm glad, now did I touch you at all?"

This time I shook my head no. He had not touched me, I would have felt it the second he did touch me. The burning would have start instantly, it always does. No matter how much I try to block it out or hope it does not happen it always does and I can never hide from the pain.

"Thank goodness, now we need to get you cleaned up. I am going to go downstairs so Emily can come up with your stuff and help you get clean up. Is that all right with you?"

I did not see a problem with Emily helping me as long as she did not try to touch me. I could not feeling guilt for thinking such a thing. From the second I got here Emily has been nothing but nice to me and not once during the time I was in the kitchen did she try to touch me. Hanging my head down out of shame I nodded to answer Seth that I was fine with Emily coming up to help me.

"That is good, I am going to leave me now but Emily will be right up," he told me just before stood up to leave. Slowly he backed out of the room keeping his eyes on me until he was out of the room and almost to the stairs. That is when he finally turned from me and headed down the stairs. I tried my hardest to keep my fears of being left all alone in a room I had never been before. However, in the end I was unable to keep the memories at bay and all too soon I found myself drifting back to my first day in the room with padded walls.

All around me was nothing but white. All the color in my world were taken from me, well not all. I can still remember the blackness that came when they turned out the lights for the first time. While most kids are scared of the shadows that stream through their windows at night I was not. For there was no windows in the room I lived in for eight years. How I wished there was just so I could have a hint of light in the darkness but there never was.

Unable to take it anymore I grabbed one of the pillows behind me as well as the blanket at the end of the bed. Making my way over to the far corner I set the pillow down before lay down on the floor myself and covering myself with the blanket head and all. Squeezing myself between the two walls I waited for what was to come next. For I knew when it came to my life bad things were always right around the corner, no pun intended.

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